Nonsensical Ramblings of Mark

In spite of myself God moves to perfect that which He has started in my life. I look back to see all of the opportunities that I have availed myself of in an effort to grow in Him and I realize that my motives were not always (not ever?) pure. Why did I participate so mightily in the Peer Ministry group at Cardinal Mooney High School? Was it so that I could gain a fresh perspective on God and start or deepen my relationship with Him? Or was it because I was lonely and needed substantive friendships? Was it because of a girl or two that I had my eye on? I could forever be questioning why this or that happened and what was the motive for this and that, but one thing remains certain. I had nothing to contribute to my salvation and my sanctification seems to be playing out the same way. God’s grace saved me, is saving me, and will ultimately save me when what I have been saved from is finally revealed to me. I stand completely deserving hell today but assured of the bliss of heaven. And th...

I finally had a chance to look at our church bulletin this morning and what I saw there encouraged me a great deal. It wasn’t the fact that we are making budget this year or the fact that they finally got the time right on my wife’s scrapbooking outing tomorrow night. No, it was a quote…from Carl Sagan. The quote was excellent, but I never thought I would see the day that there would be a quote from an ardent atheist astronomer (albeit a very spiritual atheist) in a Baptist church bulletin. This is good because he had a lot of knowledge in this area. Knowledge that we ignore and forget exists as we draw nigh to our holy huddle. And, without being conscious of it, Sagan glorifies God as he wonders about the universe He created. Sagan thrilled us as kids when we watched the PBS special and read the book. Leafing through the pages we saw things that any normal kid could see, but with eyes that grew wide with exciting thoughts of parsecs, the google plex, septillions of stars, and billions...

She stands in the waiting she looks down to speak Your eyes speak invitation to follow with the beat She said oh no I'll never be the same You struck my heart like lightning I'll never be the same   - King’s X Coming out of the shower is when I usually have an idea about what I want to write about for the day. Not today. But I do know this: I am a different person than I was last year. Some of those changes have been voluntary and some of them have been produced in me. As I reflect on them I like them. I really do, and that is a good position to be in. I am not where I want to be – not where God wants me to be – but as I grapple with that I realize that where I want to be is heaven and in the new body that He has promised me. So I strive to live out in practice what I am in position. The changes that I have made in my life (and the ones made for me) have helped me in that regard and for that I thank God. Every year I want to be different. I want to make changes in the places t...

It’s marvelous…and I don’t use that word lightly…that two boys, so different, can come from the same two people. The oldest is so agile, so coordinated in his movements that my wife and I often look at each other amazed that he can do what he does. The younger is so verbal and relationship oriented that my wife and I often look at each other amazed at what he says and how friendly he is. These differences were really from the womb and solidified early in their lives. God has a funny way of introducing variety into the species doesn’t he? I love them both to death and love coming home to see them. I see the strain of love on their mother’s face as well at times. She is deeply committed to them and it resonates to the core of who she is. Thanks be to God that it does! I don’t want to pigeon-hole them into specific activities because of their abilities. If the older wants to try out for the school play or run for class president that would be great. If the younger wants to (like his dad) ...

I dug out an old album by Barren Cross called Atomic Arena and had an imaginary conversation with myself about the best songs on the album. I went down the list – Imaginary Music, In the Eye of the Fire, Close to the Edge, Dead Lock, Heaven or Nothing…I think that is all I listed in my conversation. Well, I was mostly right. All of these songs kick hard except for Heaven or Nothing. Then I left off King of Kings which, although short, rocks all night long. This little mental exercise (and the conversation which probably qualifies me for the psych center) leads me to one conclusion: In and of myself I have nothing of value to offer to interpret this universe. If I cannot even recall the good songs off of an obscure Christian heavy metal album how can I sift through the facts presented to me from this vast cosmos (both internal and external) and come to any substantive conclusions about what is real. It is the heart of folly to pretend that I can come to hard conclusions about anything i...

A trip to the Fire Station So this is what being a dad is like? That's right - all this and more. Reading in Luke last night and came across the verse where Christ mentions that we who are evil know how to give good gifts to our children and how we should rest in the knowledge that God, who is holy, knows how to give good gifts to His. I never knew what that meant (on an emotional level) until I met my son for the first time. Instantly I realized that I would do anything for him and would never intentionally harm him in any way. It made me realize what a dad truly is and how great it is to have a Dad that looks out for me too. I need that more than I realize.

“Nothing ever changes in your own backyard… If you want to make a difference then you’d better start with some backyard changes.” When I was a new Christian at SUNY Brockport there was a guy that I eventually roomed with that was way into Christian music. He introduced me to a wide variety of groups. One of the best and most underrated was Crumbacher. They were a techno/synth pop group that was pretty groovy. They have a song (that I am actually listening to now) called Backyard Changes. I love it, and it speaks to me that my heart is where real change takes place. I tend to blame the place I am at for the trouble in my life. “If I could just remove myself from [[insert whatever you want here]] then I will have [[insert whatever you want here]].” Of course it is nonsense but this line of reasoning (and its derivatives) runs through my head and catches me in its lie. My heart is so vast and so deceitful at times – I will never know it. But the promise is this: if I change my backyard th...