Being asked to do what I should do
One of our sons pulled a doozy at school not that long ago. It was the latest incident in a series of incidents that seemed to be forming a bit of a pattern and we needed to put a stop to it pronto. We received an email that we didn't expect to receive from a teacher and, as parents, we went from 0 to 60 faster than the Rockin' Roller Coaster at Walt Disney World. One thing we absolutely had to do was mete out some consequences for the infraction that went above and beyond the natural ones caused by the choices he was continuing to make. And that is where the wheels came off for me.
We were both stressed. My wife was probably a little more stressed than I was because, well, that is her nature and the boys were expected home at any minute. In the midst of the confusion and the not knowing what to do she hit me with the task of coming up with an appropriate consequence that would get at his heart rather than just his activities for the weekend or some other area of his life. She clearly put the responsibility on me and, as I lay in my pool of stress, I started to get a bad attitude about it. "Why is this all my responsibility?" I thought. "Maybe if you want a consequence or two you should think of them yourself!" I thought. "Boy, I wish the bus were coming home and I was on that end of the phone so I could hang up and saddle you with this..." and on and on it went. What was I all bent out of shape about? My son's disobedience? The stressful phone call? The frustration that the teacher expressed in the email we received? Nope...none of that.
I was complaining that I had to take the lead. I was complaining that I needed to fill the God-given role of being a Dad and, much more to my shame, a husband who would actually do what he said he would do on October 7, 1995. Rather than embrace what I had been called to do I kicked against it and threw a fit. Even more shameful is the fact that I told my son that God called him to be a student and he, sure as shootin', needed to do what God called him to do and to be and all the while I wasn't interested in being what God called me to be. Hypocrite? Yeah. You could call it that because that is who I am.
So, what of it? If this causes you to pray for our family more that would be great. We need it. It also makes me long for heaven just a little bit more where I can finally be who He had created me to be.
Praying and will continue to pray. I love and value your transparency.ReplyDelete
Thanks so much, Bill! Prayers are so powerful...God has been teaching me a lot about that lately. - MarkDelete