For the Lord
As much as I think I minister for an audience of One, it is hard for me to divorce "me" from the ministries that I have been called to. I want, so much, to minister on my terms and do what I think is the absolute best. It is so hard for me to subject myself to anything except me. Whenever the locus of control is somewhere else things work so much better. But I like me. I like me a lot. I like me so much that I would rather be ruled by me, even though I am a terrible master, than be under the authority of someone else. When things go my way I am so happy and convince myself that this happiness is really joy. I agree to myself that the cheese and crackers that I am eating is really Chicken French.
I am about to be on a different path in my ministry with the church now than the one I have been walking down for a while. It is easy for me to look back on the "good old days" rather than be captured by the wide-eyed wonderment of where God is calling me. It is easy to regret starting down the road that I have been called to abandon for something that could be so much better rather than step back and marvel that God uses me at all to advance His kingdom. And what a splendid kingdom it is!
My last breath was a revelation of God's sovereign will for my life. What He held out to me last night is a sign that He is not done with me yet. There is no doubt in my mind that I will struggle and stumble on this new road. Dad, I am going to need You to pick me up because I might not have the strength to do that. Please empower me to both lead and follow well. I want to thank You that You are always faithful to do that.