Fine with being #2

Won't you be my number two?
Me and number one are through
There won't be too much to do
Just smile when I feel blue. - Be My Number Two, Joe Jackson

"It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." - C. S. Lewis

Yeah - I would have settled on being a "number two". There were so many times that, while pursuing this or that girl, that I would run up against the fact that they had a "number one". I would always say something to the effect of, "Well...I am here if you need me." thinking that, at some point, they would. But it never really worked out that way. Fixing my attention on something less than what God would want me to have I found that I was far too easily pleased. Or distracted. Or a thousand other things.

But then God brought me someone who wanted me to be their number one. And not only did it feel great, but it was great. In other words it was not great because it felt great. It was great because God, my God, declared it so. And this declaration has been made manifest in the manifold dedication that she has had for me these many years. No longer was I, nor will I ever be, a number two.

Now I know that I am not God's number one. There is no way that I would want to be. But I can't help but feel like I am. I mean, look what He's done. Wouldn't anyone feel think the same? Isn't it amazing that He made sure that I, in part, took my pleasure in someone who can't stop thinking about me and loving me the way He does? I would have never thought that could ever happen given the trajectory of my younger years. It would have never happened save His intervention...and her heart.