The hazards of eating at my desk

I admit it. I eat at my desk. After today I wonder if I will continue to do it. I put some honey mustard on my ham sandwich this morning. Well, I bit into it and a stream mustard squirted out of the sandwich and landed on my chair in between my legs. I then noticed it running towards the back of the chair and inching ever closer to my...ahem...crotch. Praying that it would not make its way to that seam in my pants that is associated with the object of many jokes about plumbers when their pants are down are down (I'll spell it out for people who do not know what I am talking about) I leaped into the air.

Now I had a problem. I had to clean up the mess on my chair but I wasn't sure whether the mustard made it "all the way back there" or not. I can just imagine what honey mustard on my aforementioned pant seam would look like. (When you're driving in your Chevy and your pants feel..) I had to chance it and I did. Keeping my nether parts pointed as close to the wall as possible I made my way to the bathroom. I got the paper towels and cleaned stuff up the best I could. I think I am looking good back there, but I know some of the mustard got on my pants between my legs. Good thing I walk fast. That part should be a blur.

I haven't had an accident like that in a while, but I am sure to have more. Just not with honey mustard. I'll be more careful with that stuff from now on.