Not measuring up

I found myself on the receiving end of quite a few compliments this
weekend having to do with my teaching/preaching ability and motivations
toward ministry in particular. When I was a teen I hated compliments
because they brought expectations. For example, if my parents
complimented me on my initiative to do the dishes without being asked
then there was an expectation that came with it that I would show
similar inclination toward initiative in the future. I was far too lazy
to embrace that. Now, with my laziness somewhat cured, I hate being
complimented because I am afraid that I will not live up to the
compliment.

What if I have a bad week teaching? What if I stumble, fall, and make a
fool not only of me but of the person that publicly complimented me? I
know that if people really knew who I was on the inside that all of
these compliments would be rescinded and I would be encouraged to
repent and, even perhaps, to embrace the Gospel. That is one of the
reasons why God is such a refuge to be and a safe place for me to be
exactly who I am. He knows me inside and out and still trusts me to
minister and build the Kingdom. That doesn't make any sense for I, in
no small measure, fall so short of who His Son was and still is.

I know I need the compliments because they do motivate me. I think God also brings them my way to remind me that I need to be holy. My future and the future of those closest to me is greatly affected by my personal holiness.