I'd like to know where it went

Never had that feeling
Until I first met you
Never felt like kneeling
Now I do, yes I do (yes I do)

All my dreams came true last night
All my hopes and fears
All my dreams came true once more
In tears in tears
Be near me, be near - Be Near Me, How to be a Zillioniare, ABC

I had this song in my head this morning. I once owned the album (in vinyl) but is is long gone. And so is this song, and that is the reason I am writing what I am today.

It seems when relationships are new and love is a strange thing indeed songs like these were so frequent in my head and heart. I imagined singing them to the girl I would be dating and eventually marrying. But now that I am married (and have been for a while) they're no longer sung nor even brought to mind.

When you need a friend, don't look to a stranger,
You know in the end, I'll always be there.
But when you're in doubt, and when you're in danger,
Take a look all around, and I'll be there.

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you'll wait around awhile, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise you, I promise you I will. - The Promise, When in Rome

I remember scrawling these words on a blackboard in pursuit of a high school sweetheart. Where has this song gone in my consciousness? More importantly, what has it been replaced by? A more sophisticated, deeper understanding of love and what it means to love. I don't think so. Granted some of this songs may seem silly and the emotions expressed the stuff of teens, but how much of it is exactly what is missing in my life? How much of the magic, the awe, the wonder of this thing called love and this person that loves me even when I can get so exasperating at times is expressed in these words.

And we laugh about it now. How silly we were to stand in front of the mirror and lip sync these songs thinking this is how it was supposed to be. Thinking that our mate, some day, would fall head over heels for us after we sang something like this and took the bandanna off of our leg (was it just above or below the knee, I can't remember) and gave it to her.

But then there is that part of me that just wants to look deeply into her eyes, the eyes of the one whom I dearly love, and sing:

I'll stop the world and melt with you
You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time
There's nothing you and I won't do
I'll stop the world and melt with you - Melt With You, Modern English

I'm sure these words are not a cure for anything. But their absence is surely a symptom of something.


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