Labels and distance

How many times am I surprised by a certain aspect of someone that I have gotten to know a little better? I label people so readily: “He’s the funny guy.” “She’s the encourager.” “He’s the deep thinker.” as if my two-word description of the person is the totality of who they are. Then we have them over for dinner, or they teach a Sunday school class, and I am shocked. And why am I shocked? Could it be that my two-word description of someone is not grounded in the reality that I thought it was? He’s liberal. He’s a Calvinist. He’s a bit too Arminian for my blood. All labels I use to distance people from me. The barrier that I put up is comfortable because it allows me to get a handle on who I think people ought to be. At the same time it objectifies people and gives me excuses not to be near them.

We recently had people over and I was surprised yet again. I was convinced that the couple we had over was comprised of a fairly outgoing person and a shy, quiet, reserved type. Both of them are excellent musicians so we had the performer and the accompanist. The one who is up front and the one who is content to stay in the back. I was wrong and off by a large margin. Both were outgoing, easy to talk to, and even gregarious at times.

The old guy who is just biding his time here and looking forward to retirement just left my cube.