Motives and the realm of the Spirit

Do I write because I think I have something interesting to say? Do I write hoping to get “discovered” and offered a way out of the ordinary life I am living? Do I write to get good at it and, when the opportunity presents itself, I will have acquired the skills necessary to seize it with all my might? Should I push my thoughts and reflections out or rely on a pull from interested parties accepting the fact that **gasp** no one may be interested?

As vast as this world is and as vast as my heart is I am often left with more questions than answers. The Moody Blues had a song a while back called “I’m Just a Singer in a Rock ‘n Roll Band” that just let people know that they ask questions and have no real answers to the questions that they ask. I have come to know answers through the Scriptures, but at the same time the vast frontier of my motives, my movements, are left unplumbed. There is such depth in me and the introspection and examination I subject myself to from time to time doesn’t even scratch the surface of who I am. The promise I have in the Bible that one day I will know as I am known sounds so attractive, but scares the daylights out of me at the same time. What percentage of my actions are pure? What percentage of the ministry God has entrusted to me is born out of my love for Him rather than a slogging sense of duty born out of the Debtor’s Ethic?

Oh the grace of Him that called me! That is my only hope for the holiness He rightfully requires makes me tremble. His righteous steps have given me hope again. And His resurrection has solidified my steps.