Maybe I am making too much of this.

Maybe I am making too much of this. I don’t know.

Why should my happiness matter? Why should my feelings matter? Who am I to let my desires, emotions, and outlook to stand as an arbiter of what is right and true? Or, more subtly, of how I react to certain situations or how I attempt to manipulate people with my actions and words. Too many times I pursue happiness in this world. God is not interested in leading me deeper into happiness or some sort of emotional equilibrium where everything meets my approval by some subjective and largely internal standard. He is interested in leading me deeper into holiness.

Curse my happiness. Let its lifeless body be nailed to the tree. Let my feelings and desires reflect His. When they do not, let them be nailed right next to my happiness. When things are not to my liking let not one complaint escape from my lips. Let my thoughts wander to how He is producing holiness in my life through the introduction of this situation.

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