Nonsensical Ramblings of Mark

Now I’m not into playing games Or lifting up my holy name There’s one thing I’d like to do I’d like to learn and live and cry with You. - Undercover

We went to visit my sister in law and my sister and brother in law and their family over the weekend. It was a great trip and well worth the effort. Some amazing storms rolled through on Saturday afternoon/evening and I guess there was a tornado warning in the area of my sister’s house. We gathered with the Open Door Baptist Church on Sunday morning and I heard a word picture that brought a verse alive to me. In Philippians Chapter 4 the Bible says that the peace of God that surpasses all human understanding will guard our hearts. The pastor then went into an illustration that concerned a guard dog (a BIG guard dog) reacting to a strange noise outside and warding off an intruder. The peace of God as a shield to ward and guard is something that merits more meditation for me. I had never thought of that peace as a keep of sorts but that does ring true to me. It also makes me want more and more of that peace so that my heart will continue in its capable care.

I have trusted Him with my salvation. My hope is in Him to bring me to heaven and usher me, forgiven by His Father’s grace according to his righteous steps and vicarious death, into the presence of the Father. I believe Him when He said that he was the only way to the Father and my life is an attempt to live like him through the power of the Spirit he promised and that is resident in my heart. As part of his body I gather with his church to worship him and serve in a way that I could never achieve on my own, with my wife, or as a family unit. Have I lost my mind? I pray so. And my life as well, Lord, teach me to lose that as well.

I just can’t get over it. I love the summer! I know I should not let circumstances control how I feel (and the weather is solidly in this category) but c’mon – what is better than a Summer night? I went out to get some stuff at the local Tops Market here in Rochester last night and loved the heat and even the humidity I was feeling when the sun went down. It was great! Although I do enjoy the cold crisp of Winter at times, I am still in love with the Summer He has made.

Sometimes it bleeds through. A couple of times my wife has caught me with a bad attitude and I thought I was hiding it well. That is when I realize that my acting isn’t enough for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, or the face wrinkles, or the chin droops. No, acting isn’t enough nor is it even desirable. God wants to capture my heart and make it truly His through and through. To say that He has every right to do it is to put it too mildly. I need to realize that I am owned. Whether it is an ownership wrought of Him or someone or something else I will be owned. He is an excellent master and will not be a servant. Unless His service returns to Him as surrender to His Lordship.

What would prompt someone like me to write almost daily in a blog like this? I find it interesting that I find that there is a need to “pen” my thoughts for the world to see (if anyone is reading anything I write). But then there is that part of me that wants to create. If you ever saw my drawings or other projects you would realize why I turn to words for my self-expression. And isn’t that all this is? Me expressing myself in different ways; in different lights; in different strengths. There is nothing in this world quite like blogging. This chronicle of my time has a tendency to be self-serving for sure. But as I work through this I want less and less of me in it and more and more of Him. Like John the Baptist, in a moment of celebration said: “He must increase but I must decrease.” (John 3:30)

The devil inside The devil inside Every single one of us the devil inside - INXS I am finding it hard not to be disheartened with what is going on in the Middle East these days. No rumors of wars here – we can see the smoke rising from the ruins of a bombed out building in Beirut or where the rocket hit in Haifa. When will they seek peace? It is so easy for me to become focused on what is going on “over there” and decry the evil inflicted on people “over there” and lose sight of this heart that is still so prone to wander. It is so easy for me to take the messages from the pulpit and the parenting class I am taking and see where it applies in someone else’s life circumstance and miss what I am to be doing. Until I am relentlessly focused on me and the evil that so easily makes its way into the relationships I am involved with I have not even seen the hem of the robe of the life God would have for me. I must recognize and own the role I have in the conflicts in my life and in the lives ...

This morning my son heard me zip my lunch bag, and, right on cue, he said “See you later daddy!” I gently “scolded” him by responding, “I am not going yet! I have to put my computer in my bag.” And then I realized that his world is so much different than mine was. I am getting a sense of how my parents felt as they tried to understand me. The needs that my son and I have are very similar if not identical. Negotiating this new landscape so that his needs are met…now there’s the challenge.

Since coming back from vacation it has been a strange time for me. I feel rather odd – just a weird feeling where something is not quite settled. Maybe the lack of routine threw me more for a loop than I thought. Driving into work today I just felt strange. But that’s all right. I have long ago abandoned my feelings as the arbiter over what is true or not. If it feels right, so right that it could not possibly be wrong, it may or may not be. That is just the way it is. I remember watching a video that was a segment of the Larry King show on CNN where there were three pastors talking about…well, I can’t even remember what they were talking about. But what I do remember is one of the pastors, John MacArthur, prefaced just about every comment he made with the phrase “Well, Larry, the Bible says…” and was impressed with the lack of scripture the other pastors had used in their responses. Finally MacArthur said something like “My authority is the Bible…” and then it hit me. Yes, that is my ...

It was a great night stargazing – even though the mosquitoes (my least favorite word, I think, ever) we particularly vicious. The lack of wind allows for good seeing, but those little buggers get so brave in its absence. I initially aligned the scope on Vega and Arcturus. I had to do this a couple of times because the power plug from my battery kept falling out. With more tape and more care I was off to the races. My go-tos were a little low and off to the right all night in my 30mm eyepiece (my favorite one by far) but I was able to see just about everything I wanted to see. My planetarium software on the Palm M125 I have worked flawlessly through the RS232 connection on the scope. All in all a good performance from the equipment. Globular clusters: M5, M12, M10, M14, M15, and M53 I have an affinity for the section of the sky that houses M10, M12, and M14. M9 and M107 are also in the neighborhood, but, to me, they seem like they are crashing the party the other three globul...

OK, the clear sky alarm clock has just gone off for tonight and tomorrow night. I am charging up the battery now and will look to getting the scope out tonight. Set up is scheduled for 9:30 and stargazing will commence at 10:00.

I am a “closet” gadget freak. I like small electronics: PDAs, digital cameras, camcorders, laptops, GPS receivers…the whole nine yards. I have a feeling that if I was single and pulling the income that I am pulling now I would be knee deep in gadgets. I would also probably have multiple eBay listings as well hawking the ones that had fallen out of favor with me. Having a wife who is a saver (unlike me) and with my children in tow I do not have the inclination towards buying gadgets that I used to. Well, maybe that is too strong of a statement. The inclination is still there, but the means to satisfy it are definitely not there. That is a good thing for me. I don’t need all of that stuff. Another good thing is that the boys are getting older and the toys they are interested in are getting cooler. Maybe by the time there is an Xbox 5 we’ll be ready for one. Until then, it is fun just browsing on CNET.com for all of the cool, up-and-coming gadgets.

Early on in my Christian walk I was heavily influenced by contemporary Christian music. Artists like Whiteheart, Petra, Undercover, Stryper, Rez, Mylon LeFevre and Broken Heart, Crumbacher...all of them brought something to the table for me sipritually and creatively. One of my favorites was (is) Daniel Amos. They had a song called "Darn Floor Big Bite" which attempted to capture our attempts to explain an inexplicable God. In that song they sang: "I believe I've had a vision or two Could have been a dream I guess it could have been a dream Could have been a dream I saw the wide world crack where you touched down And bodies wash up on a mythical shore Will you save me now? Will you save me now? In not-quite earth, in not-quite heaven I'll imitate love like lovers do In not-quite art, in not-quite living I'll pray that writing it down is part of loving you " My sentiments exactly. I do pray that setting my mind on Him and running after a fuller knowledge ...

Boy was I lazy last night. I had every intention of doing some stargazing but it just didn’t pan out. Through the whole day I received Clear Sky Alerts from the Clear sky alarm clock (the clock for my location is at http://cleardarksky.com/c/RchstrHYkey.html ) and I had the battery charged and my Palm Pilot loaded with the objects I was ready to look at. My plan was to get out by 9:30 p.m., get the telescope set up, and be ready to go at 10:00 p.m.. Well, that didn’t happen. We had dinner guests and after we got the boys into bed I washed the dishes, loaded the dishwasher, had a phone conversation with some friends who are adopting a baby boy…it was well after 10:00 p.m.. So I struggled with what to do for a bit and decided to bag it. Maybe I should have gone out to observe for a bit, but I consoled myself by giving assurance that the next Clear Sky Alert I get I will go out. Of course, I may never see another clear sky, but that is a different matter entirely. I may take some pictures...

In college I had a friend (her name was Sheryl) that underwent hypnosis to try to kick a smoking habit of hers. While under hypnosis (whatever that is) the hypnotist said that all she could talk about was Christ. I wonder what I would talk about? When my conscious mind is peeled back, when the inhibitions and acting is turned off, will I name His name? I am almost too afraid to think about a situation like that. No, actually, I’m terrified of what would come out. Am I saved? Have I been redeemed? Have I trusted Him sufficiently that I am one of His? Has the Good Work been started?

I hope this does not make my boys too freakish but I want to eliminate the phrase “going to church” from their vocabularies. I would like them (and me) to say we are going to “gather with the church” or we are going to “be with the church”. I want to impress upon them (and me too) that the church is not a place, but a people. That is what Christ promised to build. We are not going to the Lord’s house. The Lord’s houses are meeting in a place where we will respond to Him in a special way. It’s a mouthful and I’m sure it is imprecise at some level…just not as imprecise as the alternative.

My adolescent 70's Reads just like the Pevensies Adventures. 'Cause every perfect now and then I caught a glimpse of Aslan's mane And I longed for His treasure. Something in His mystery was drawing me To love the Author of my own biography. – Chris Rice Will I ever know? How much of my life is really me? How much is written by the Biographer? Is this my biography or His? So much of this is mystery that I am afraid that even my regenerate mind will not grasp the totality of it. But then I have rested the hope of my salvation in Him, so why not these silly questions as well?

I am back from vacation and it was wonderful to be with my sister, brother, and their families. Most of all it was good to be with my wife and sons as we toured Washington D.C. and Baltimore. There is a lot of history in those places and they are full of fun things to do. The boys were very good on the way down and back and I have no real complaints about their behavior during the trip. I would go tomorrow if I could again. I have pasted some pictures of the vacation in this post.