The hands of God and death part 3
So here I am with some strange vision of holding death's hand. Here I am with a desire to grab a hold of it as if, somehow, he would lead me into a new and shining place. The only reason I can find for my trust in him as a God-ordained guide is that death has proven to be a good friend already.
I don't fully understand him (ok there is my Englishness), but I see where he is not only of great benefit to me, but he is the vehicle of true life. I was always under the impression that his valley, his shadow was something to fear if not something to be avoided. Now I won't go visiting him, in the ultimate sense, anytime soon unless God Himself arranges the meeting. That visit would require a commitment and create a wake that I am very interested in avoiding. But I would be a fool to neglect becoming familiar with him; to receive correspondence from him as I live this life I am called to. For in so doing, in dying to myself I can live for others. In dying to sin I can come alive to right living and I get a glimpse of his face. Just a fleeting one mind you, but I hope enough of one that I will be able to recognize him when he comes to greet me in full form.
Schaeffer surmised that we reach out to grab our father's hand because it was one that was trustworthy. It was a hand that has shown us good guidance and good steadying in the past. It is quite natural for us to then reach out to grab a hold of God's hand for the same reason. Why do I struggle with the strangeness of my desire to clutch the hand of death? Hasn't he been a willing servant of mine? Hasn't he shown me how true Christ's words are? Hasn't he shown me that when I die to that which is hellish I live to the stuff of heaven? How has he damaged me? How has he deceived me?
He hasn't. And I pray that when the time comes for me to reach out to him with both hands I will cry with tears of joy knowing that he will show me the way to the Father (hasn't he already?). He will take me to my Savior. He will show me, one more time, how excellent of a servant he is. He will then cease for there will be no more need of him. I will have finally died to everything that kept me from fully loving God. I will have finally been transported into the life that I should have been living all along.