Nonsensical Ramblings of Mark

Waiting is an act of love.  I have long legs and I can walk fairly quickly fairly easily. My wife, well, she was not as blessed in the long legs department as I was. When we are walking I need to be conscious of the pace of my gait as I have a tendency to leave her behind. In no uncertain terms, I need to be conscious of her. I need to remember her, subject myself to her ability and desire. I must purposefully slow myself down so that we can walk together in comfort. In other words, I need to love her. There are so many times that I think I see so clearly. I see so much in that person's life and that person's situation and I think I know exactly what they need to do to be a better human or even a better servant of God. I make judgments about their progress or perspective and I can get impatient. Those are the times when God puts the brakes on and tells me to wait. Not just for them, but for Him. He is perfectly perfecting those that are truly his and I cannot hurry him al...

So kiss me and smile for me Tell me that you'll wait for me Hold me like you'll never let me go I'm leavin' on a jet plane I don't know when I'll be back again Oh, babe, I hate to go  - Leaving on a Jet Plane, John Denver I used to travel a whole lot more than I do now. There may come a time when I am, again, on the road.  But now, right now, I am apart from those I love the most in this world. Every morning I step out and separate myself from them in one way or another. And they do the same. Out of my sight I cannot hear them nor can I call for them. They won't answer. I won't either. We don't need a jet plane to separate us. Time and any measure of distance does that. Kiss me. Smile. I am leaving you now and I don't know when I will be back. I don't know if I will be back. There is One that does. And he requires that I trust him with the secret things that are his. 

Every day, more and more, I realize that I am not home yet. Creature of earth that I am, son of a man that I am, I have been given just a glimpse of a wonderful place. I have seen it in my wife, my sons, my church - this Place of Peace. This Person of rest. This Light that shines undimmed forever.  Today I am left here wondering. Unsure of when I will see the light. I know it is there; He is here. But my frail heart of dust and flesh wants to reach out my fingers to scrape it and open my eyes take it all in. I want it to satisfy my hunger, heal my cold, and dry my eyes. I want it to hit me in the chest and leave a mark so that I can hike my shirt up and see it, once bleeding, and now scabbed over.  Oh Jacob's glorious limp! Every step a reminder of the night he wrestled with his God! Dad, your faith that you've given me, that holy thing that burns sometimes so hot that it makes me shake, will it constrain me? Will it set me free? Will it allow me a moment's peace ...