Nonsensical Ramblings of Mark

i walked through a garden in the morning i walked right into a change no words were spoken just a feeling and i cannot explain but i can feel the difference  - King's X, The Difference It always seems to happen around the end of the year. Things get really busy at work and the stretch of days that I plan to take off are threatened to be broken up by a promise to check an email here or a half-hour conference call there. As I walked out into the parking lot last night there was a specter that wouldn't let me pass until I had walked right through him thereby committing myself to some mode or method of work during my vacation. Once I had whirled around to see if I had, indeed, passed through him (I had, there was no doubt about that) I said to myself, "Lord, I am not going to worry about this. You got this one, right?" A simple prayer that did nothing to dissipate the presence of that ghost but that set my mind and heart on a course into water that was decidedly uncharted...

I lost my temper on Monday night. I lost my temper so badly that I sinned in the process and had to ask for forgiveness from my oldest son. There was no reason for me to have done that. Even though my son was disobedient and more than a little wrong in what he pulled there was no reason for me to lose it. I guess I just wanted to make him feel badly about what he had done, but how is that my job? Shouldn't I have left room for the Spirit to convict him of his sin and drive him to confess it? So there I was, in his room, just before he went to bed, confessing my sin to him and asking him for his forgiveness. Then, when the conversation was over, and rather uncharacteristically, I hugged him. And he wouldn't let go. When we left each others' arms he looked at me and said, "I don't know how you do it." "Do what?" I asked. "Well, I just keep on sinning and sinning, but you still love me." His inquiry led me to remind him that he forgave me for ...

I was at a Christmas concert last night for my nieces and I thought that the choirs that sang did a great job. The accelerated choir group sang "Carol of the Bells" and as they did I thought of the piercing cry of a bell in relation to the piercing presence of Christ that Christmas night. I couldn't shake the thought that bells are such a perfect picture of what happened when God took on flesh and dwelt among us. But then, probably because I grew up Catholic, I got to thinking about the Annunciation. The Annunciation is what Catholics call the salutation the Gabriel made to Mary to announce that she had been chosen to bear Christ. It is recorded in the Gospel of Luke and is tremendous in its implications and in the illustration of Mary's unbridled submission to God's will. This event in our salvation history is celebrated on March 25 each year. What made me think about the Annunciation in reference to Christmas (beyond the obvious fact that Mary had to get pregnan...

I have blogged about this before , but was thinking anew (thanks to C.S. Lewis) about my role in completing the joy that other people have. I have always understood that there was a role I was to have to help bear the burdens of others and that really listening to their issues and entering into their suffering was key to that process. When someone is happy or joyful there is a role that I need to play as well. Rather than bearing their happiness, which seems kind of nonsensical, I am to complete it. As soon as my youngest son is done with a Lego creation or the oldest reads something funny in his Calvin and Hobbes book they immediately want to share it with their mother or me. Now I could be cynical and say that their motive for sharing was born out of the desire to be seen as clever or to, albeit briefly, have our undivided attention, but I think that it is so much more than that. Firstly I am thankful that I have the time that I do to devote to examining the creation or hearing the f...

This morning on my way into work I heard a great story on NPR about an Indian dancer/actress that taught some Indian prisoners how to perform folk dances so that they could begin to have a life outside of the prison environment. She was absolutely spot on with reminding the audiences that they performed for that this was not the end of the their transformation but the very tip of the beginning of it. Many of the prisoners still had a hard time finding jobs and struggled to find trust from the people on the outside of the correctional system. This woman also was consistently asked by various audience members if the men that performed were truly reformed. It was her simple response to that question that shook me: "Are we?". It was also interesting how she delivered the answer. When recalling the incident to the reporter that was interviewing her she laughed uncomfortably. I don't think the laugh was one where she felt badly about taking the one who asked the question off gu...

I was listening to a lecture on the Gospel of Thomas (GOT) last night and I got to thinking about something that professor said. There are 114 "sayings", or logia, in the writing and some of them are rather goofy and extremely uncharacteristic of Christ...although given the Apostles penchant for confusion I could see some of the dialogue coming from their mouths. Other sayings are given serious weight as being from the mouth of Christ and more historically accurate than the ones presented in the orthodox gospels. Here is one of them that the professor brought to my attention: (Logia 9) Jesus said, "Now the sower went out, took a handful (of seeds), and scattered them. Some fell on the road; the birds came and gathered them up. Others fell on the rock, did not take root in the soil, and did not produce ears. And others fell on thorns; they choked the seed(s) and worms ate them. And others fell on the good soil and it produced good fruit: it bore sixty per measure and a hu...

Last night I was impersonating William Shatner (as James T. Kirk confronting a Romulan Warbird commander) reciting "It's a Small World" and hilarity ensued: Nan: [at computer] "I can't believe she knows her. It is a small world!" Mark: "It's a world of laughter...a world of tears...it's a world of hope...and a world of fears..." Drew: [triumphantly] "Shakespeare!" Nan: [facepalm] Mark: "There's so much that...we...share...that's it's time we're...aware...it's a small world...after all." Drew:  "OH!" Yeah - it's never dull.