Very uncharacteristically...

I lost my temper on Monday night. I lost my temper so badly that I sinned in the process and had to ask for forgiveness from my oldest son. There was no reason for me to have done that. Even though my son was disobedient and more than a little wrong in what he pulled there was no reason for me to lose it. I guess I just wanted to make him feel badly about what he had done, but how is that my job? Shouldn't I have left room for the Spirit to convict him of his sin and drive him to confess it?

So there I was, in his room, just before he went to bed, confessing my sin to him and asking him for his forgiveness. Then, when the conversation was over, and rather uncharacteristically, I hugged him.

And he wouldn't let go.

When we left each others' arms he looked at me and said, "I don't know how you do it."

"Do what?" I asked.

"Well, I just keep on sinning and sinning, but you still love me."

His inquiry led me to remind him that he forgave me for my sin and that we both have God's love in our hearts. I told him that when we let God's love flow through us it is then, and only then, that forgiveness is possible. It is when we suppress that love that we hold onto our forgiveness and think bad thoughts about each other. We made a promise that night that if we are ever tempted to think bad thoughts about the other then we will talk to each other about them and make it right.

Words cannot express how thankful I am that I hugged him. I don't know how the conversation would have ended had I not done that simple thing.

I also now know how deeply he feels my love for him when we hug. 


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