My tainted legacy

John MacArthur died yesterday. I have benefitted greatly from his books, interviews with Larry King, and other media that he has produced and that I have consumed. I read an article about him entitled Died: John MacArthur, Reformed Expositor with Worldwide Reach—and Tainted Legacy and that led me to reflect on my own public and private lives. You know, the one people see and the ones that God sees.

If Christ is to be believed, and he is, he has made the pronouncement over my life and even the life of someone as accomplished as MacArthur: “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone." (Mark 10:18) I am not a good man, nor am I a good father. I am not a good spouse nor a good employee. I am not good because, frankly, I am not God. That should not be a surprise to anyone. Any superlatives that may be directed to me while I am living or after I have died should have an asterisk after them for: Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17)

Walk a mile with my mind and heart today and you will see my tainted life. Look at how I truly eat and spend my time. See what I get away with? See the whitewash wall that I expose to you? Do you see what it hides? I hope you don't. In fact, if you truly knew me, I mean really knew me, you would wonder why I have even a millionth of the life I have. But you shouldn't.

You shouldn't at all. And it is not because I am good at living a double life or somewhat decent at covering my tracks. It is because I serve a God abounding in love and rich in not giving me what I deserve (mercy). His undeserved good gifts (grace) drown me and all I see is hope. My legacy is tainted, just like MacArthur's, but the one whose legacy is not, Jesus Christ, has set his love on me and his merits are mine.

Why? I cannot answer that. You'll have to ask him. 

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