I scarcely understand

If only I thought of the right words,
I could have held on to your heart.
If only I thought of the right words,
I wouldn't be breaking apart
All these pictures of you. - Pictures of You, The Cure

I can feel the lament of these words as sure as I can feel the peace of being known by God. I needn't find the right words in his presence as if my poetry would open access to him. All I need to do is sit. Even sit so still and be.

I scarcely understand as I lay myself bare before him. On my face, on my knees, driving in my car, walking with her I open myself wide to him and he sees. He knows. He smiles. He loves.

Pictures? No. Presence. Deep abiding light that sees me. All of me. Not the part that I expose to others. All of me. And the drumbeat of his heart arrests mine and we know.

Me, in part; he, the whole. 

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