Anatomy of a Facebook status update
I, generally, do not post many normal things for my status updates on Facebook. Sometimes my not-so-normal statuses just pop into my head and I get them into cyberspace before they leave my brain. Other times they follow a clear progression. This morning's update was of the latter variety.
I had a little bit of my travel coffee cup fall of yesterday so I needed to use some superglue to get it affixed to where it was. I did that this morning and was proud of myself because, well, I didn't get any superglue on my fingers. This is a rare enough occasion that I thought I would herald it on Facebook: "Mark Dudley managed to use superglue this morning without getting any on his fingers."
Well, that seemed a bit to ordinary so I thought it would have to make it a bit more unusual in the following manner: "Mark Dudley managed to use superglue this morning without getting any on his fingers. His gums, however..." But then I got nervous. What if my wife reads this and gets a little nervous? Adhesives have been known to find their way into places both on and in my body where they have no business being. This could be problematic so I got cold feet.
The only way to make the post more interesting and not raise any questions with close friends and family was to make it semi-outrageous: "Mark Dudley does his own dental work with superglue and a nail file." I knew that if this were the case, that if I actually had to perform dental work upon myself with superglue, I would be getting it all over my gums. Then I would need a way to mechanically remove the residue from my mouth which would necessitate the use of the file.
Maybe "Dremel" instead of "file" would have been funnier? Power tools usually are. Who knows? It's out there now and I need to end this entry.
I had a little bit of my travel coffee cup fall of yesterday so I needed to use some superglue to get it affixed to where it was. I did that this morning and was proud of myself because, well, I didn't get any superglue on my fingers. This is a rare enough occasion that I thought I would herald it on Facebook: "Mark Dudley managed to use superglue this morning without getting any on his fingers."
Well, that seemed a bit to ordinary so I thought it would have to make it a bit more unusual in the following manner: "Mark Dudley managed to use superglue this morning without getting any on his fingers. His gums, however..." But then I got nervous. What if my wife reads this and gets a little nervous? Adhesives have been known to find their way into places both on and in my body where they have no business being. This could be problematic so I got cold feet.
The only way to make the post more interesting and not raise any questions with close friends and family was to make it semi-outrageous: "Mark Dudley does his own dental work with superglue and a nail file." I knew that if this were the case, that if I actually had to perform dental work upon myself with superglue, I would be getting it all over my gums. Then I would need a way to mechanically remove the residue from my mouth which would necessitate the use of the file.
Maybe "Dremel" instead of "file" would have been funnier? Power tools usually are. Who knows? It's out there now and I need to end this entry.
Comments
Post a Comment