My friend death came and stayed a bit

On Monday I got the distinct feeling that things were not well with me. It hit me at work and we have all been there - the dizziness, light-headed feeling, and chills that made me shiver like I was shoveling the driveway in a bathing suit in the middle of January. Yes, it was a cold and it was more than the normal one. But more than that, it was a visit from my friend Death. He stayed for a bit this time making me pause to catch my breath or clear my head a few more times than I am comfortable with. But he wasn't leaving anytime soon and I found that it was hard for me to want him around. A rather bad night's sleep on Tuesday was followed by a good night's sleep last night and I feel a lot better today. So much so that there is little comparison between how I feel today and how I felt the last couple of days.

I have struggled with this before...calling Death my friend and I am still in the process of getting my mind around the whole thing. I was thinking this morning how much I prefer feeling like I feel now to how I felt the past couple of days. Why in the world would I want to feel any differently than I feel right now? Why in the world would I prefer feeling like a space cadet as I walk down the hall toward my destination at work rather than thinking that I could do another 5K next week? I don't think that I prefer the sick feeling versus the well feeling, but who cares what I prefer? Who gives a rip about what I want?

I am trying to look at these visits from Death as something that is good for me. Something like a visit from a friend who happens to be a personal trainer of whom I have asked to help me shed 25 pounds. Would I be excited that they are coming to help me work out? I am not sure that I always would be. Would I like the feeling I have in the middle of the exercising? No - been there, done that, and not excited about doing it again. But, would I like the results wouldn't I? I would indeed.

What did you do my friend? What was your assignment from God these past couple of days? What manner of love did He have for me to warrant your presence these last couple of days? I may never know, but I will trust that the One Who allowed you to live and dine in my house is using you to make me more like the Son He loves so much. 


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