Nonsensical Ramblings of Mark

I can imagine that it used to be quite different. The love that the Father, Son, and Spirit had for one another and the love shared between God and the, as yet, unfallen man and woman was on quite a different basis than we find today. In the Godhead itself there is no concept of debt and forgiveness as each One performs Their roles to the complete satisfaction of the Others. Without the disobedience of the pinnacle His creation there was no hint of mercy for there was no need of it. Adam and Eve were, graciously, given good gifts but did there was no wrath (anger against sin) to withhold from them. What a world that must have been. But now what of the love that was back then? I may be making too much of this, but it seems to me that, with all of the frailty and sin that is part of who I am, I dare say that I cannot even begin to understand love without the foundation of forgiveness. I cannot fully love without being forgiven and comprehending how deep the debt was that has been removed...

Yes. That is a hard question for me. What about now? What have I done in the last week, what evidence do I have, that I am different? Too often I find myself reaching back into the distant (and too distant) past for evidence that I am not the man I was. I think of this time in college or that time early in my marriage when there was a wholesale change in my life as if the last 10 years, 10 months, or 10 weeks really didn't matter at all. I can wax eloquently about how I need to change but when it gets right down to it, where is it? What is the change that I can point to and that people in my small group can recognize in me? Why aren't the discerning brothers and sisters in my life saying, "You know, you used to [be this way]...now there is something so different [in the way you are in regards to that]."? Has my devotion grown more fervent? Is my speech much sweeter? Is my love more profound? Do I confess and forsake sin more readily? Is there anything that I understan...

If I hate His Word then what will mold me? If I hate prayer then who will I confide in? If I hate good then what will I become? If I love evil then what will rescue me? If not His strength then where will my confidence lie? If not His firm foundation then what? If not Him then who?

"I've been thinking of you". These are the types of cards that I like to give and get. To think that someone would dedicate any amount of their brain to thoughts of me is comforting on a variety of levels. Now, I may be making too much of this, but there is something quite different, in my mind, about thinking "of" someone when compared to thinking "about" someone. If I see an apple I think about my wife. She grew up around people who grew apples for a living and she has taught me everything that I know today about apples. Like never eat a Granny Smith or you can tell that it is a Macintosh because the flesh is a little softer than most apples. So apples cause me to think about Nan. Now, altogether different is thinking "of" her when, for example, I know that she is going to be going through something difficult or particularly pleasant at such and such a time. That causes me to pray, or rejoice, or try to enter into her happiness or sorrow as...