They were white like me

I have to admit that this is a tough issue for me. I traveled by airplane from Rochester to Atlanta on a direct flight on the tenth anniversary of the terrorist attacks on this country on 9-11-01. Thankfully I was with the church that morning and even got to teach the preschoolers and kindergartners in our HighPoint children's ministry. IN other words, there was plenty to distract me concerning the events that transpired a while back and the bit of fear I had in my heart concerning my travels on that day.

There is no excuse for the distraction that I leaned on to quiet my heart. I guess I am still a man and still need a savior.

At the gate at the airport I looked around to see who I would be traveling with. They were all white like me. Even the people who were not white were white enough that I felt comfortable traveling with them and my heart sunk into a more profound peace and rest. I knew that I would be arriving safely at my destination. But I didn't really know...did I?

There is no excuse for the judgments that I handed to my fellow travelers that day. I guess I am still a man and still in need of a savior.

As much as I pretend to think that death is my friend and a vehicle to transport me into the presence of God I wasn't interested in dying that day. I wasn't interested in leaving my wife and children in the hands of a loving God that saved me and blesses me every second of every day. I did not want to trust Him and, in so doing, I fashioned myself into the idol that I pretend to hate. 

There is so much that was wrong with who I was that day. My trust was misplaced and I am ashamed that it was. I was driven to distraction rather than prayer and to sight rather than faith. There was so much hypocrisy and deceit. So much that was awful. Thanks be to God where my sin abounded His grace abounded all the more. He saved me again that day...all over again. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

tightvnc keyboard mapping problem in Ubuntu 9.04

Image
I have been, off and on, having an issue with the keys on my keyboard mapping to the correct values when using the tightvnc client when paired with the vncserver vino in Ubuntu 9.04. I am not exactly sure what keyboard layout the client and server was expecting, but it seemed like every time I restarted the OS the keyboard mapping problem would come back and I would be at square one again. Well, I think I have found the workaround I was looking for . Hopefully this will help anyone else that is having this issue.
Read more

The manifestation of the "I" and the gift of self - Part 1

I am continuing my journey through Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body and I had never realized how body-focused the 2nd and 3rd chapters of Genesis truly are.  But then it all makes so much more sense when it was brought to my attention that the body we have been given in a manifestation of me, or to put it another way, the "I". And it goes beyond that still. Not only does it reveal me, but my body also reveals, in no small measure, the image of God. That is not to say that God is made of flesh like me as is depicted in so many Renaissance paintings. The old man in the sky is nothing like the God as revealed in the Bible. However, the love that God is, the holiness that he is, the justice he is, the righteousness that he is...all of it is shown to the world through my body. In a very real way, my body allows for others, and for me, to participate in the mystery (the hiddenness) of the image of God. That is by design; from the beginning.  If God is revealed in nature...
Read more

Let me learn what I need to learn

In the “I don’t know what God is trying to produce in me…” portion of the blog: I work across (not with) an incredibly loud person. We are in cubes and he refuses to use a handset when he is in a conference call…or headphones. Everything is done via speaker phone. Maybe his handset is broken? I don’t know and am too timid (read “interested in keeping the peace”) to ask him. Of course he shouts into his speaker phone as well when he talks. Now he even refuses to use a keyboard. He has a speech recognition program that allows him to speak to the computer rather than type. Good for him! Now we can all hear “Comma…open parenthesis…close parenthesis…tab…tab...tab…” Was it my sin or my parents sin that relegated me to this placement in the office. We all know the answer to that but man…it sure feels like I am getting punished for something.
Read more