There was no cleaning that mess up

We have a kitchen here in my building which is the source of no small amount of hilarity. We have a water dispenser in our refrigerator that I use to fill up a water bottle when I retrieve my lunch so that I can lay off of the soda. I have a tendency to turn sharply around corners in and out of rooms while I pretend in my head that I am being chased by Lex Luthor's minions. OK that part isn't true but the rest is.

So, cutting the corner a bit sharply this day I ran into someone. The force of the collision caused me to spill no small portion of the contents of my water bottle onto the upper half of this person's shirt. I knew her very well and quickly apologized, but at the same time I noticed that the fabric that made up the shirt was very water-repellant. It was doing its job particularly well that day and there were at least 50 beads of water that were dancing like little diamonds at a debutante ball. Ok, so, what do I do? I just baptized one of my co-workers (against her wishes) and had to perform some act of service. Do I offer to get her a paper towel? Do I comment on the weather resistance of her smartly styled shirt? Nope.

To her horror I am sure, and completely ignoring the voice in my head saying "HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT!! HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT!!" I reached out my nimble fingers in an attempt to wipe, yes wipe with my bare hand, the water from her, um, chest. Well, I can't be certain of this, but I think that the same angel that held back Abraham's hand from sacrificing his son was dispatched to my aid to hold mine from creating a truly awkward (and perhaps criminal) moment out of something that was merely unfortunate.

With cold sweat running down my neck and my heart racing knowing that I almost got to finally find out if mace really tightens my pores, I made way back to my desk and contemplated how I could have handled the situation differently. I still didn't offer her a paper towel. Or a compliment. But, under the circumstances, I think she was fine with that.

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