How much to uncover
Spring and Summer, for some reason, always catapults me back to my younger years and ushers in bouts of reminiscence and a lesser amount of introspection. These activities have been muted somewhat in recent years but they are still there. There are certain songs from my younger days that seem to bring back old hurts and pain that I encountered and, at least I thought, adequately dealt with:
- It's My Life - Talk Talk
- How Soon is Now - The Smiths
- The Verdict - Joe Jackson
- Down By the Sea - Men At Work
- Burning Flame - Vitamin Z
Given the pervasiveness of Youtube and the ebb and flow of 80's music that I run into I find myself, on occasion, hearing and playing these songs. The feelings are more muted but they are still there. I can trace some of the feelings back to certain instances in my life...things said and left unsaid...that left me wondering about this and that. There are others that are there and, well, they are just there with no real connection to someone or something. Thanks be to God He used these feelings to bring me into a realization that I wasn't home yet and to help me to get in touch with the longing for the real world.
But I am wondering how much of this stuff I should really uncover. Should I just leave it at where I have it now or should I go deeper. I mean to say that I seem to think that I am reasonably well-adjusted...how much of the apple cart to I want to disturb? Do I need to sort out which events were real or imagined to be who God wants me to be? Or do I press on knowing that He redeemed all of that and made it into something beautiful?
Too many questions. Thankfully my hope doesn't rest in the answers to them. It rests in the Answer Himself.