Tasting, seeing, and motivation

Maybe I am odd...okay I know I am a tad odd but maybe I am odd in this way in particular. Nan and I prayed for something a while back and God answered our prayers so profoundly and certainly that it was nothing short of Him coming in the clouds (so to speak). It was one of the more blatant answers to prayer I had seen in a long time and I think I, quite literally, had my mouth open in amazement over it. One would think that the experience would motivate me to pray more frequently and more fervently. It hasn't. But why hasn't it? I had a sausage and mushroom pizza the other night for the first time in a little while and, let me tell you, it fueled the fire for more sausage and mushroom pizza for sure. I also, after spending a considerable length of uninterrupted vacation time with my wife, do not want to tear myself away from her and the experience that we have had together. You may even say that to taste the goodness of these two things fuels a fire that burns ever more true for me to experience that goodness again.

Why can't it be that way with the goodness of God? What is still deficient about me that leads me, almost 180 degrees, into the other direction when I have sincerely tasted and seen how awesome a life can be with Him at the center? I am interested in ending this struggle, but I fear that it will be with me until my tired body is in the grave. I just pray that I can get some manner of my life with Him together enough that I would feel good about it. But maybe that's not what He has for me. I need to be prepared for that too.

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