Loving submission

Yet another moment where a great mystery (to me anyway) was unlocked in my head. I always struggled a bit with the concept of the submission of the wife to the husband and the submission of the husband to the wife. When should one bend to one versus one bending to the other? Clearly the Bible calls for both for Christ gave himself up for the church. In the same way as a husband I am to give myself up for my wife. But what does that mean? What does that look like?

Our pastor preached a sermon about husbands loving their wives and made a key statement for me. When I am thinking about playing the "submission card" I need to make sure it is a clearly defined area of right and wrong or that I can point to Scriptural principles that would shed light on the decision being either wise or unwise. In absence of that, I am to lovingly submit to my wife. Now that makes sense to me.

A bit harder perhaps is to remove any obstacles that I may be putting in my wife's way that would cause her not to want to submit to me. Granted there is the fact the wife wants to overthrow the husband's authority and that the husband is not interested in loving the wife the way he is commanded to - that will always be there as part of our former selves. I need to make sure that any submission problems I may encounter (and they are few and far between believe me) are not caused by me in the least.

Again, it seems like I am my own worst enemy.