Not all that comfortable

I have to admit that a lot of times I do not feel all that comfortable with God. I mean, sometimes I wish He would just leave me alone. Why this dogged determination of His to conform me into the image of His Son? Why this world this way? Why am I convicted more than assured? I often feel like the steward who says to the Master - "I knew you were a severe man who takes what you do not deposit and reaps what you do not sow."

Why indeed Lord. Why do I shake my finger at you and wave you off with my puny hands? You are nothing that I would have invented because the fabric you clothe me with irritates and chafes. Will my flesh ever fade? Will my spirit ever strengthen? Will I ever, forever, say "Yes! Yes!" and move to the strength of that conviction?

Not this side of heaven You say? Then more - more of the foretaste my heart aches for. More practicality born out of the realization and embrace of my position before You. Grace is all I need...and all I have.

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