More personal

I guess this blog is more personal than anything. Does that make it self-serving? I think arguments can be made on either side. First and foremost I think that a truly self-serving line of thinking has impure motives behind it. In other words, I would be looking at eliciting some sort of reaction out of someone – manipulation is self-serving and I know I do it sometimes without even thinking about it. I would be using this blog as a means of manipulation. I would like to think that this is more of an exploration for me as when I write I have a tendency to think and meditate a little more. Then I get a little too focused on the words on the screen and mess around with this sentence or that phrase until it sounds all right. That usually breaks the meditation or stream of consciousness and I am left with the crumbs that fall from the table for the rest of the posting.

I also think that a self-serving way of doing things would lead me to a more private expression of who I am to me alone. No access granted to anyone else. I want this to be an exercise where I deepen my relationship with God first, then my wife, kids, church, family, and world through an honest reflection and more than surface introspection. If that happens this will have served its purpose. If not I might as well start manipulating for I would be nothing more than an animal in search of the next brood or mess of pottage.