Nonsensical Ramblings of Mark

Much like Lewis in his Reflections on the Psalms, this musing is not the work of any real scholarship on my part. It stems from an interesting connection that I have seen between the poem "And did those feet in ancient time" by William Blake and the curious pondering of Samuel Sewall about the role of the New World in Christian eschatology. Sewall was a native of England and one of the early Puritan North American settlers. He was an abolitionist who argued against slavery from a Biblical perspective and repented of his role in the Salem Witch Trials. He authored a pamphlet that presented the New World as having a significant part in Christ's return to earth and the establishment of his Kingdom here. While I do not see eye to eye Sewall on this point, I did find this a rather curious line of thinking and thought it came out of left field. That is until I read the poem by Blake. In the poem "And did those feet in ancient time", published much later than the Sewa

I am under this fantasy that there will be required reading for my boys when they are older. I recently finished reading C.S. Lewis' Reflections on the Psalms and I think that I found the finest chapter that he has ever written in any book of his that I have read. Chapter 9, A Word about Praising , framed the act of praising God in a way that I had not contemplated before. It was so simple it was radical and it helped me come to a deeper understanding of who I am and why I am. Even though Lewis is no fundamentalist I am absolutely going to add this chapter to my "Required Reading" list for my boys. I hope that this list is not just a fantasy of mine. I would like the things that have been helpful to me to be helpful to them as well. I just need to make sure that I am not disappointed if they do not derive the same value out of it than I have. They are unique individuals after all and God has a different course for them than He had (has) for me. 

A while ago my wife bought a big box of crunchy granola bars. I have been eating them in my lunch and, even though there are three different varieties in the box, I have taken a liking to the peanut butter ones. Well, I noticed yesterday morning that she extracted the remaining 4 or 5 from the box and put them back into the pantry removing the box to the recycling bin in the garage. Due to the marked difference between our personalities I found this act a tad strange as, if I were in charge of the dispensing of the granola bars, the box would only have been removed when the last package was removed. I resisted the urge to say anything yesterday and carried on with my day. This morning, in the course of assembling (not making mind you...that is just too much work) my lunch I went back into the pantry in search of the granola bars that were extricated from the box and fully expected to find them thrown into a pile at or around the same place where the box had been. They weren't there

My mind has either been too full lately (cue laughter) or just plain empty (cue knowing nods). I have been catching up on some podcasts on my way into and from work and there has been so many thoughts that have been triggered from different perspectives on familiar themes that it is hard to articulate them all. Here is one, albeit underdeveloped, of them: My body is a vessel. It happens to be the tool by which my self affects the world around me. It has also been both given into service to God and is fit for the service that God has given to me. I was thinking about the breaking down of the body, I am 40 after all, and likening it to a bucket that is becoming increasingly rusty and showing more and more holes. Obviously I could carry water in a hole-ridden bucket, but it would be sub-optimal for this task. It would frustrate the one who has pressed it into service to carry water. I would have to think that once it is unfit to carry water, or to hold anything in particular, it would be

To further my slide into a pretentious geek wonk I am officially dumping the Firefox web browser for my new favorite: Google's Chrome. I have been lamenting the steady rise in the size of Firefox over the past year or so and have been looking for a sleeker alternative (thankfully my wife has not been on this quest with me) and I think that Chrome will fit the bill quite nicely. I even like the way ScribeFire is implemented in Chrome over the way it is developed for Firefox. There was a twinge of sadness in my heart when I moved the Firefox shortcut from my desktop to the Recycle Bin, but I think it is for the better. I am very happy that there are quality browsers out there that we can choose from and that, if the need warrants, we can punt and use another one. I am not un-installing Firefox just yet. I may have use for it in the future, but my new daily browser is Chrome. I bet you're glad you know that.

Feeding and breeding and pumping gas, Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, do it again. - What We Do, Devo You do not have a soul. You have a body. - C.S. Lewis I know, I am twisted enough to put a Devo lyric in the same post as an insight by Lewis, but it was too great a contrast to pass up. There is an age-old struggle within the heart of man between what is "down here" and what is "up there". To put it another way, as much as I love cheeseburgers, is that it? Is the end of my cheeseburger consumption found in the consuming of it? Or is there something else? Is there a reason that I am breathing or pumping gas? Is there a purpose to my doing it all again? Looking at everything that is made, whether it be organic or not, there is a purpose for its existence. There is nothing that exists that does not fulfill some type of purpose. From the smallest sub-atomic particle to the star-killer black holes it is all infused with activity and participates in a well-choreographed d

The two of you that have read my blog before (thanks Mom and Dad) know that I have a real admiration for Phil Vischer. In the past this was largely born out of the impact that he has had on my sons' lives as the brains behind Big Idea and VeggieTales, but I have a new appreciation for him since he has left the daily operations of the company he found. I was reading an interview with him recently where he let loose with this gem of wisdom: "What I’ve learned to do is to remember very specifically what God has called me to do. It’s very easy for us to put other things onto that and the calling gets very specific over time; ‘He called me to tell stories, he called me to tell computer animated stories … with my own animation studio … in a really nice building’ and so it goes on. ...‘he called me to serve the church ... in this neighborhood … in this store … to those people … with this shelving and store layout’. But what did God actually tell you to do? Serve the church? Hang on t

A lot of times I don't like to write about or to defend the faith that I have because, well, I could be wrong about how I am defending it. I recall reading about a particular experience that C.S. Lewis had that gave him great pause about believing that he was any sort of philosopher and caused him to soften the language in his books ( Miracles in particular) quite a bit. Apart from the fact that I am under no illusion that I am any type of philosopher or deep thinker I can understand the pain that he had and share it at times. However, in thinking about the dialectical approach and the progression and, hopefully, strengthening of thought from one person to the next, it seems like my fears are either more or less made up, or they rest somewhere else. I would like to think that if someone had a problem with what I would say or a particular vein of argument that I took supporting or criticizing someone or something that they would approach their objections calmly and with civility. We

Last Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday until about 1:00 p.m. our family was all together at Family Camp at Circle C Ranch in Delevan, NY. Don't ask me where Delevan is because I would just refer you to my GPS as to the exact location and path to get there. All I know is that we went West and then South for a while...and I am so glad we did. We had a time we had no business having in a place that holds great significance to us. My wife Nan was saved from the penalty of her sin there when she was 16 and we took couple of trips with the teens from Sodus Bible Baptist Church to the Snow Camp they hosted. Our boys were so excited to be there and did things that they had never done before like rock climbing, horseback riding, and water balloon volleyball. It was also great to just get away with fellow believers, hear from God's Word, and just be in a place that, for 40+ years, has been preaching the Gospel of Christ to kids who desperately need it. I think the thing that I enjoyed t

I am only now getting my Linux box upgraded to Ubuntu version 9.10 and then, eventually, on to 10.04. I pulled my keyboard for that particular machine out from under the desk and found that it was excessively dirty. Well, I had heard that you could run a keyboard through the dishwasher and, as long as you wait long enough to let it dry, plug it in and it will work. Well, I ran the keyboard through the dishwasher last night and we'll see if I can use it again. It came out very clean by the way. I was reading some review about a laptop that was for sale. One of the comments was that it had a "smallish" hard drive. I looked at the specs and found that the hard drive was listed at 320 GB. Of course, being the old guy that I am, 320 GB is not "smallish" at all. It got me to thinking that by the time my boys care about the specs on a computer of any type I would venture to guess that a terabyte drive would be the minimum they would be looking for. That is amazing to m

Last night my boys were chomping at the bit to watch a 1982 Muppets/John Denver special called Rocky Mountain Holiday. They loved every minute of it. What really caught me off guard a bit is the extent that they enjoyed the "down home" nature of the show. I mean, here is John Denver with his acoustic guitar walking around and signing his way through real and imagined scenes of a camping trip that he is on with the Muppets and they were riveted to it like it was a chase scene in a Star Wars movie. In their attention to this I sensed their appreciation and even love of simple things. Even though they are a little rough around the edges (they're kids after all) and still so prone to wander (they're sinners after all) they are still so pure and innocent in what they enjoy. It seems like the simplest things take them by surprise and they love, I mean really love, life. There is a part of me that is so satisfied that they love Lawrence Welk as much as Lego Batman on the Wi

When I eat late at night (say after 7:00 or so) I have very vivid, intense dreams. Most of them are way to realistic for me, in the midst of the dream, to realize that it is only a dream and some are so real that I have a hard time convincing myself, when awake, that it was a dream. Well, lately, I have either been eating late by design or just gotten into the habit of snacking later at night. I have noticed that I have not felt all that rested lately and was wondering why. Hey, it takes me a while to figure these things out. Well, last night I made sure that I did not eat anything before bed. I did have some decaffeinated coffee with a little vanilla creamer in it, but that was it. I don't remember anything that I dreamed about last night (for the first time in a week or so) and I feel a bit more rested today than I had been feeling. Hopefully this is what I need to do to make sure I am well-rested. We'll see. I have always had the issue of vivid dreams after eating later at n

Sometimes I like to pretend that the information that has had an effect on me in a profound way will, similarly, impact my boys. After reading Me, Myself, and Bob by Phil Vischer I was deeply moved by the end of the book where some excellent perspective and counsel was offered. It altered my reality and made me want to make it required reading for my boys when they get older. I guess I have this grand illusion that it will be used in their lives in much the same way that it has been used in mine. Undaunted with my fantastical thinking I have yet another requirement for them. On my way into work I completed listening to a lecture by Dr. John Frame on the presuppositional apologetic approach of Cornelius Van Til. The approach he took, and the balance he struck, literally astounded me. It made me want to make my boys listen to it for it addressed some of the weaknesses I have as I assess what is going on around me and definitely leveled some false dichotomies that I had erected in my min

I subscribe to a classifieds service where I get emails concerning things for sale. I have hawked quite a few things and bought some stuff through the service and I enjoy it. Well, a "gem" came through just now that, for a brief moment, I thought about acquiring: FS: 6-1/2 HP Horizontal; shaft gas engine Brand New - Never Run $125 Growing up we always dreamed of having a go-kart. What red-blooded American boy didn't? Of course the lack of resources always got in the way. This was paired with a lack of technical know-how to actually put the thing together and get it to run. Safely. Well, my resources have grown but my lack of mechanical ability has always been with me. I am afraid that no amount of tinkering could make up for the fact that I am clueless about mechanical devices. Every once and a while I'll crack something open, jiggle something here and there, and then make it work out of sheer grace and mercy from God, but barring that I just don't have what it ta

I remember a few years back that I had an encounter with a mouse in the basement of our former house that left me thinking if I had it in me. I found a mouse that was stuck in our utility sink in the basement and did not have the means to escape. After some ensuing hilarity I finally caught the thing in a coffee can, poked some holes in it (so it could breathe) and let it go in a field on my way to work that morning. I wasn't sure if I could kill another living thing that was more complex than a mosquito or small fish. Well, this weekend I found my answer. We were talking with a neighbor when Nan saw something crossing the street and quickly identified it as a mole. I knew what I had to do. I ran up to the garage and got a spade and quickly made my way down the driveway determined to do it in. Thankfully it got tangled up somewhat in the grass so I was able to place the spade just behind its head and snap its neck in two with it. Another quick blow to the top of the handle of the s

I still need to do some work on this but I am beginning to find more and more uses for the iPod I received for Christmas a while back. Recently I was on a trip to Sacramento, CA and found myself in a plane for many more hours than I was comfortable with. Of course, I did not have the necessary reading materials, headphones, and other accoutrements that would have made the trip more bearable. Determined not to have that happen again I have been looking for other things to use my iPod for and have stumbled upon a more than little resource called iTunesU. Now iTunes is the main vehicle for getting content onto the iPod if you want to fill it with stuff that you do not already have in CD or other digital form. It turns out that iTunes also has a vast amount of content online that is a bit more academic than entertainment focused. Currently I am listening to a series of lectures by Dr. John Frame from the Reformed Theological Seminary concerning the history of Philosophy. I have listened to

It seems to be finally happening. I have, for the longest time, been trying to get my mind thinking correctly about the word "church". It was very easy for me to play lip service to the fact that the church is the people of God rather than the building that they congregate in on a given Sunday. I mean the Bible is pretty clear that is the case. On the other hand whenever I heard the word church I immediately thought of the building. I have been trying to get that out of my head for the longest time. Well, I think that I have turned the corner. I have heard the word "church" from my oldest son and, most recently, a co-worker where my mind went immediately to the people rather than the building. In fact, when I heard it from my son, I got very confused because he was using the word in a context where it could not have been misunderstood as being the people rather than the building. My confusion brought me an amount of satisfaction that is not usually produced when I a

Safe and sound knowing that You're big enough to Wrap around my heart completely Safe and sound just knowing that You know me - Safe and Sound, Mercy I had an experience in my ride into work today that can only be described as being held. I had a mildly stressful weekend that really came to a head, so to speak, when I got back from our evening service. There were quite a few stressors that effected my countenance to a great degree and I was caught up in them to a great extent. I had a restless night's sleep last night and knew I needed to meet with God in a special way this morning. Actually I think it may have been God Himself prescribing the cure for my anxiety. I took what He offered and had a commute into work this morning that was unlike anything that I have had in a while. Why didn't I run to you sooner Dad? Your peace was available to me last night, wasn't it? Why didn't I avail myself of it? Maybe that was part of it God...maybe it was. To say that I am happ

Deuteronomy 6:7-8 is the standard for me to communicate the Commandments of God, and really the whole Bible, to my children. It is a popular passage that took on new meaning for me during the evening service on Easter Sunday. We watched various scenes of John's account of the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ. It was powerful and I even had the opportunity to do a couple (literally) minutes of instruction from the 18th chapter. Well, we were singing one of my favorite songs at the end and I was very into it. During the height of the song I felt a tap on my leg. Quickly realizing that it was Drew trying to get my attention and snapping me out of my focus on the words of the song and the beauty of the moment. I instantly wondered what was so important (I was worshiping after all) and I bent down to inquire what he wanted. And there it was. An even more beautiful moment and one that I will never forget. Drew asked a simple question: "What does 'come again' mean?&q

Let me start out by saying that I find nothing inherently wrong with the statement "I am so proud of you." I do not equate the message of that statement with the sin of pride at all. Reflecting on it, though, I find that I am a bit uncomfortable with the focus it brings. It seems to me that a better statement would be "I thank God for what he has done through you." or something like that. Maybe "Thank you for letting God use you" is all right too. I guess my main concern is that I want the focus to be on the Gift Giver rather than the one who has been gifted. That, to me, makes me more comfortable and makes more of God and less of the individual that God is using in a particular way. That seems to be more of the spirit of John the Baptist when he said that "He must increase and I must decrease." For me it is a little like taking a circuitous route to a destination. If my goal is to get there as quickly as possible then there is a better way to do

I thought our days were commonplace, I thought they would number in the millions. - Treasure of the Broken Land, Mark Heard Time leaves its marks on me in almost imperceptible ways. I mean, I live with me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (a fact that I often lament) and I need to look at pictures to see the effect that time has had on me. I don't look old to me until I look at the wedding picture on our living room wall. I looked so young back then...and that was only 15 years ago. I know that I am not as quick as I used to be and that I can't do the Spring clean up for 8 hours straight like I used to. I find that when I jog I feel like I am going to die and that I get a bit more winded running down the street after my boys. Of course that is not all age related...the volume of Stromboli that I have eaten in 12 hours may have something to do with that as well. At any rate there have been 40 of them. Years that have passed and yes, I would do some things differently had I know tha

My questions right now don't need all the answers Just, please don't ever let go of me No, don't ever stop loving me - The Unattainable Earth, Daniel Amos I often repeat the response Socrates gave to the question of whether he feared death or not. He responded that it was irrational to fear that which we do not know. I agree, but I am woefully irrational. In my life there have been situations and questions that have shaken me, literally, to the core of my being. They have left me at the end of myself and have given me more than pause...they have staggered me. My mind, (as small as it is), my understanding (as feeble as it is), my relationships (as shallow as they are) do not hold all of the answers and counsel that I need. And even if I received it I would not be able to understand it. Those are the times that I throw myself on Him and beg Him to never let go of me...to never stop loving me. Like a child I run into my Daddy's arms and ask Him nonsense questions praying

En route to Albany from the Atlanta airport I had a great conversation with my youngest son: Drew: "Daddy are you flying Delta?" Me: "Yes I am, Drew." Drew: "Oh good I am soooo glad you are flying Delta Airlines!" Me: "Really?" Drew: "Oh yes. They give you drinks, they give you food. They are the best! You'll have a great time!" I wondered where all this came from, but I then recalled that we flew Delta when we visited our friends down in Asheville, NC. I am in Detroit now and recall our layover here on our way from Rochester to Asheville and back again. I love the wonder that my guys have as they live their lives. It makes me want to be more cognizant of the experiences I am having and look for the exquisite in the ordinary. Is there an ordinary? Not with them. It doesn't even enter their minds. It should have no place in mine either.

"Hi John, Let's break some rules." - Intergalactic Radio Station, Vangelis Last night we were informed of some big changes that are coming down the pike that effect the way I minister at my church and they won't be easy. More than a desire for a particular ministry, I just have a desire to be used by God to bring people closer to Him. If I can, more effectively, help make more and better disciples with a rubber band and a hamster than with what I am doing now you can bet that my next two trips would be to Staples and to the pet store. Even though it is hard and I will miss what I am doing now and what my boys are involved in my goal is not the preservation of the status quo or throwing the Great Commission to the wind so that I can continue in a ministry that I have grown familiar with. That just doesn't compute anymore. It is time to break some rules. It is time for me to grab a hold of ministry that has one measure. The old way of ministering for ministry's

Sorry the updates and musings have been sparse as of late. Most of you enjoy the break but it won't last long...believe me. There is a boatload of hoo-hah that is going on at work and at our boys' school (Northridge Christian) that has had me hopping and hoping that it would all go away. No, actually I enjoy the challenge of being stretched on occasion. It helps me find out what I am made of. We are in the throes of preparation for the annual NCS Auction and God is showing us that he is providing for our needs even before the auction has begun. We have been able to get our hands on some very nice items that we have been able to sell on Craigslist for some serious cash. It look like, when it is all said and done, we will have over $300 to donate directly to the NCS Auction as a result of our selling those items. We have been working with the auction for 11 years now and this is the best (by far) that my wife and I have done with the pre-auction item hawking. It is so great to se

I am sure there are a lot of people that are concerned about my reliance on the Bible to discern right from wrong, to confirm the existence and true nature of God, or for a myriad of other things that I need to have operating in my life for successful living and an abundant life. I can understand their concern because I had those concerns about people as well. I always hung around God and the Bible but never really made a stand on it or anything that it proclaimed. I guess when I finally came to and realized that the Bible is exactly what it purports to be I realized that I shifted my reliance on my reason and perspective to the Bible. After realizing that it scared me that I had not done it sooner. I may be delving into places that I have no business venturing into, but I just may share same concern that people have about me and my reliance on the Bible to them and their reliance on their reason. Both are unbridled and unapologetic and both our reason and the Bible have their genesis

Will has had a friend over yesterday so that they could play, go to Awana, and sleep over into today. Well, we have had a lot of snow lately and the boys got a hankering to go outside and play in it. They had just started when I arrived home from work. After we got some things around for dinner my wife decided to watch my two sons and Will's friend playing in the front yard. She was concerned at the scene. There they were diving on each other, hitting each other with the sleds, pummeling each other with snow, and laughing their fool heads off while they were doing it. By her own admission my wife has said that she grew up with a sister and was not well-versed in the ways boys play. I, on the other hand, growing up with three brothers know the ins and outs of the boy brain that thinks: "Here is someone hurtling down the hill on a sled. I can either get out of the way, jump on him, or chuck the sled that is in my hands at him." Two out of the three alternatives would be att

I am singing a new "song of the month" with Northridge Church on Sunday mornings and it is hard for me to get through without being overwhelmed with emotion. I am not sure if any of the other former Catholics in the congregation have the same feelings that I have when I sing the refrain: Christ has died Christ has risen Christ will come again I have a hard time not weeping. I would like to think that it is because of the beauty and simplicity of this "mystery of our Faith" but I think it has more to do with how thankful I am that God pursued me. He caused me to be born into a family with parents that loved Him dearly. They kicked my butt out the door on Sunday to gather with the church and worship Him. The sacrificed mightily so that I could learn about Him from kindergarten straight through 12th grade. They made sure I got to vacation Bible school...even when the only alternative was the Lutheran church down the road or the backyard Bible club on Florence Avenue. T

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10 I am not a still sleeper. I am always flipping this way and that and have to contort my body in all manner of various positions so as not to overly disturb my wife while doing said calisthenics. I fear that when I am the most still is when I am buried six feet deep in the pine box that I may be graced with on the way down there. In other words, when I am dead. And that's the issue. I would much rather Psalm 46:10 say "Breathe deep and know..." or "Fold your hands across your chest and know..." for that would be much more comfortable for me. I do like the restoration that sleep brings and would like to do that more often. I would also rather the Psalmist to have written "Once you're dead and gone you'll know..." but the command is for the here and now isn't it? Crud. Crud. Crud. I don't like to die. Not that I wouldn't mind exiting this world and being with God, but this whole dying to mys

The men's room in the building I work with is fraught with danger. There is an unwritten rule in the relationship that exists between men that you always put one urinal between you and the person next to you when using the facilities...if it is at all possible. Well, our men's room has three urinals on each side of the entrance to the "toilet area" so you would think that this would not be an issue. It is. You see, when we enter the "toilet area" in our restroom one needs to turn to the right or left and these turns are blind. If one were to turn to the right, for example, and there was already someone using the middle urinal, you're stuck. You need to honor the commitment you made to the right side of the aforementioned toilet area and suck it up...it will be a long relief session. Usually turning to the right is the best option because the only "hands-free-flush" urinal is to the left. Right in the middle. This by far is the most popular urin

I have been in the habit of reading through the Bible in a year for the the past five or six years and it has been great. There is nothing like digesting the book of Obadiah and having all of the preceding books impacting my understanding of it. Looking at God from the different perspectives that the men and women that inhabit the whole of Scripture is an amazing thing. I think that I have been changed by it as well. I have been a little more deliberate, this go-round, with making sure I do not skip a day in my reading. There have been times when I go to bed at midnight and have had a sense of urgency with doing my daily reading in the Bible. I was a bit too lax last year and found myself 7, 10, or even 14 days behind in my reading. I am determined not to let that happen again and, so far, it has worked out all right. Granted I just finished Matthew and have only read through Chapter 30 of Exodus along with 28 Psalms, but there is just a different attitude that I have now in comparison

I will be the first (and not the last) to admit that I do not have a scientific mind. No matter what my experience is and no matter how many times people say the opposite I still think that when I jump in the air while in a moving airplane I should be slamming into the back wall of said plane. Not only does this make sense to me in my mind, but it would be colossal fun. Maybe that's why I want it to be true.

Evaluations are hard for me. Very hard. But they are such a gift. They are a gift I don't want. But they are a gift that I need. See how I am? The problem with me and evaluations is that I have a picture in my head of who I am and how good I am at a certain thing. I am happy with that picture. Most of the time. One of the great things about that picture it that it is one that I can draw and re-draw as much as I like. I can even select a nice comment over here and a nice comment over there to provide a different perspective of that drawing. Maybe I could even use those nice comments to color my picture in a specific way. If there is a negative comment or two...as long as there are less than two (or three) I can ignore them and continue happily painting my picture of how awesome I am at something. I like my picture. But, then there is the specter of the evaluation and the possibility that the picture I have in my head is not shared by those that observe me. In fact, the evaluation ca

Hey restless! Can you sleep tonight? Something's going wrong, got to make it right. Wake up now! Before you sleep the night away. - Restless, David and the Giants I am not sure if you have had this experience before, but this morning I was restless. I couldn't quite understand the feeling - there was a dread that was hanging over me that I could not shake. I even exercised this morning and had a great cup of coffee which I thought would brighten my mood somewhat, but the feeling persisted. I wondered what it was all about and talked to God a bit about it. Well, I was in the middle of a conference call when my wife called. I couldn't take her call but, listening to her brief message to call her back I knew something big just went down. I prayed and participated in the call the best I could. She called again and I jumped off the call to talk with her. She, indeed, shared some very bad news with me. We spoke very briefly about it and made some quick plans and I hopped back on

OK, so the browser statistics for my blog are as follows: Type of browser used to visit my blog (all versions): Firefox - 67% IE - 10% Chrome - 9% Opera - 3% Safari - 2% Others - 9% I am happy that there are so many quality web browsers to choose from. I like using all of them (except IE 6) and they all have their strengths independent of the other. It also goes to show that my blog is a bit on the geeky side of things. In fact, the most popoular post on the blog continues to be my resolution of a tightvnc key mapping issue and one person has even reported that it has helped them. It is nice to have a blog that people actually visit. Even if it is heavily concentrated in one post.

What a comforting word "waited" is. Even if that what is waited for is an unpleasant event the fact that it is hear and that I am either going through it or have gotten through it is something that, at the very least, reduces ambiguity. I hate waiting. We were at a party last night where my boys had to wait until they got to do one of the very things that we attended the party to do. They didn't have to wait long, but I could tell that they were ready to jump out of their skin in anticipation. But, then, they waited...it was all in the past and their wait was swallowed up in the now. It was over. And the night was everything they could have hoped for. At least that is what they reported to us. The trick for them, and me most of the time, is to revel in the waiting. I waste so much time looking forward to this, that, or the other thing. I can't always be looking forward to something. My vision has to be much more limited than that. On another note I made some coffee to

Your eyes shone on that night They were diamonds Under the ocean’s moonlight They were diamonds It was only a moment in time You were laughing, I was falling hard. It was over Then the light of morning hid the stars. And it was over I remember it well The night I fell so deeply into your eyes And I wondered if you would feel for me The way I felt for you It was only a moment in time - A Moment in Time, The Choir And when was that moment? Was it the night when she said "yes" to my marriage proposal? Or the night that we knew that our firstborn was growing deep inside of her? Was it the night that we moved from the house that we began our life together in and struck out into uncharted water? Or was it when we realized that we were not only deeply in love with each other, but we were deeply in love with the same God? Or was it last night when we kissed each other, bade each other a good night, and drifted off to sleep? Yes. I dare say it was. I love you Diamond Eyes.

I work with an older man that likes to say "Hey, Lucky" every once and a while when he passes me in the hall. I usually just smile as I walk past him. Today I responded saying: "Hey, Crusty." I don't think he appreciated that.

I have been teaching in our "children's church" program (called HighPoint) for a while now and I will have one more lesson to give before I transition into teaching our adults in our new classes on Sunday that begin next month. I can honestly say that I have mixed feelings about it as I love the stuff we are doing in our HighPoint program and it is great to be up in front of a ton of kids every week...including my own. When I was asked to do this a while back there was a gnawing sense inside of me that this was the B-league of teaching. In other words, I had to rail against the tendency that I constructed to treat this as a second-class teaching assignment for people who couldn't quite cut it for the adult classes. When I finally snapped out of that flesh-driven thinking, I set out to pour myself into the teaching as much as I would any adult class that I would be given responsibility for. Hopefully I have succeeded in that. Thankfully, I have the 5th and 6th grade Ch

"Is there anything a wiki can't do?" - Samuel Malachowsky Just looking for a new direction In an old familiar way The forming of a new connection To study or to play - (Keep Feeling) Fascination - Human League There are at least three things that have led to this post: my exploration of the Chromium OS, the fact that I am creating a wiki page to house a bunch of requirements that I am working on, an article of Slashdot that points to a study of the connectedness of the tweens and teens of today, a song stuck in my head since the 80's, and an off-the-cuff thought-provoking comment by a co-worker. OK, that's four things, but I was never very good at math. Anyway, it seems to me that the thin client that has been promised for such a long time is something that the average user (me in my home life) can actually work with. The web browser and the web itself has grown beyond a fun and nifty way for a business to display its wares. It is more interactive and functional

I am posting this from a fresh install of the Chromium OS which is an open source version of the Chrome operating system from Google. It is running off of a USB thumb drive at the present moment and is maximized for people who do a lot of work on the web. It seems to be pretty zippy and has some really nice features that are all delivered through a Chrome web browser. I know this report is a little light on the specifics but those will follow as I become more familiar with the environment.

I get into these funks on occasion and need something to snap me out of them. Every once and a while there seems to be stretches of time when I am not motivated to do anything. Even blogging, which is a release for me, is something that is on the back burner. Actually most of the stuff that I should be doing is on the back burner and I am not even sure there are front burners to occupy at this point. I get to thinking that there is something that I would like to do and I find some way to put it off until tomorrow. Of course, when tomorrow comes (does tomorrow ever really come?) then there is a way to shelve it until the next day too. I need a fire lit under my butt and I am sure someone (or something) will do it. Until then it seems like I am in a holding pattern and not all that motivated to contact the tower for clearance to land. We'll see what tomorrow brings. If it ever comes.

I received lots of music this Christmas - a lot more than in years past. Some of it was in the form of an iTunes gift card and some of it (well, all the rest of it actually) came off of my Amazon wish list. My wife is not all that keen on the mix of music that can be found at any given time on my iPod, but I just think she needs to listen a bot more to "my stuff" and she'll grow to like it. Here is a list of what I will be listening to in the weeks to come as a result of the gifts I have received: Again and Again - Mylon & Broken Heart Darn Floor, Big Bite (album) - Daniel Amos Mystery Highway (album) - Randy Stonehill and Phil Keaggy Tour de France , Autobahn , Elektro Kardiogramm , and Computer Love - Kraftwerk Freedom (album) - Whiteheart Flap Your Wings (album) - The Choir Direct (album) - Vangelis I love new music even if it is old music. It is nice to freshen things up a bit. I need that.

"Um, no." I hear those two words quite frequently in response to a question I ask my wife just about every morning: "Does this match?" This problem has been exacerbated lately my a couple of unfortunate developments. The first one came Christmas Eve when I received two pairs of really nice pants from my mother in law. Of course, they weren't blue, black, tan, or even olive. I don't even know what color they are but they fit and I like them. I mentioned to Nan that she was going to have to help me match my shirts to the pants as I had (and still have) no clue which shirts go with which pants. Another more catastrophic event sent my early-morning life into tumult. Usually I had enough time to ask Nan what goes with what, get my clothes ironed, and then get out the door. Nan is now driving the boys to school because of a busing schedule change and is now unable to give me the fashion advice I need in a timely manner. She is getting the boys up a bit later and I

Simply this one thing, hope, is what drives me at times. Last weekend my words and actions, for the most part, were directly from the old man. My flesh just got in the way so much that I was wondering if there would be anything left of the spirit. My flesh was less than weak...it seemed to actively oppose anything of substance that I desired to do. I sat with the church and wept. More than broken over my sin I wept because there it was. In the black and white of His Word I found it again. Hope! At the end of 2 Kings and 2 Chronicles, following some of the most disappointing and disturbing stories in the entire Bible, there it was. He shouted to me right then and there, "You have this abundant life because you have hope!" And this hope is in the God of the Universe that saved me from my sin. And so much so that death himself cannot touch me.

I am working with a guy named Kamal. I can't shake thinking about Kamala the Ugandan Giant every time I hear his name. I hope someone, besides me, remembers him from the old WWF days. Thankfully I gave up watching all of that years and years ago. Yet, when I was young and impressionable, I spent many a Saturday afternoon in front of the TV taking it all in. Obviously all of this is buried deep in my psyche because it pops up at odd times and reminds me how much time I wasted on this. Another example of how youth is wasted on the young and, also, how far I've come. Or maybe not.

We chase with the hounds for the meaning of the world The unattainable meaning of the world. Earth Household, Daniel Amos Would we have found it by know? Wouldn't we have found, with at least some degree of unanimity the meaning of this cosmos or even if there was a meaning to it all? I mean, of all of the intellectual pursuits that have been initiated and concluded over the millennia wouldn't we have at least a nugget here and there if our human reason were the vehicle that we make it out to be? Yet, we try to escape this physicality on our own and fall down over and over again. We rail against the concept of revelation as a source of knowledge and muddle through it all. We pretend that the big questions have no answers or, worse yet, that there are no big questions. We pretend that we can love and deny Love. We pretend to get angry over injustice and ignore the Just One.  How pathetic we are...how frail. If it weren't told to us we would know nothing. If not for His merc

I received a substantial iTunes gift card (thanks, Lynne') for Christmas and haven't spent it all of it yet, but I found a couple of classics that I had been missing for quite a while. The first, Again and Again by Mylon and Broken Heart is a smooth rock/jazz piece that was included on an 80's Christian music compilation. It is classic Mylon and in the same vein as a lot of the stuff found on his Big World album. I had been looking for this song for quite a while and am glad to see it on iTunes as the album it was off of is all right for Mylon and Broken Heart collectors, but not people like me. The second is called Darn Floor, Big Bite from Daniel Amos and it is every bit as good as I remember it. I had the album on cassette and wore it out/threw it out a while ago. Daniel Amos is one of those alternative bands that were way ahead of their time and not just in Christian music circles. I am going to be playing this album a lot in the days ahead along with the Whiteheart F

There was a time, I can't remember when exactly, that I was watching the Phil Donahue show and, for some reason, the camera zoomed in tightly on a phone that was smack dab in the middle of the stage. Well, the phone had a legitimate number pasted on the bottom of it which, of course, prompted someone to dial the number. The phone rang, Phil picked it up and then hung the phone up. Then the phone rang again and he picked it up and, like a doofus, hung it back up again. I think after the phone rang for the third time they cut to a commercial. Well, that was very inspiring for me. My boss had her email client (Outlook) open and projected on the screen during staff meeting today. Recalling the Donahue phone incident I decided to email her and put "DENA ROCKS!!!!" in the subject line. I showed remarkable restraint in that I didn't put something else more insulting in the subject line, but it did get the reaction I was looking for. I guess I do like causing mayhem as long a

For one reason or another I was thinking about the Awana Grand Prix and what I dismal failure I was last year as I kept score. OK - I wasn't a dismal failure...I was actually just this side of an abject one, but I was not satisfied with the job I did last year. So I went about getting a spreadsheet together that would automatically place the winners and losers in the correct heats and in the correct lanes for the races that were a part of the whole Grand Prix experience. As I worked through the spreadsheet I noticed that I was not a great detail person and also that I needed a solution that would allow me to enter close to any number of cars that would show up. Given the amount of clubbers we have this year that could be anywhere from 20 to 50 or so entries. That sounded like a lot of work to me. So, I went to the world wide web. And I found a great resource site, MattsResources.net , that had exactly what I was looking for. There, buried in a couple of different links, is the exac

I had an interesting experience on Saturday. I was washing up some dishes from lunch and the like and Will mentioned that he had a favorite name for Jesus: Immanuel. He said that he liked it because it meant "God with us". I thought it was great that he had a favorite name for Christ because, when I was nine, I can't say that I had one. I hope and pray that this is a sign that his relationship with God will be deeper and more meaningful than my own. At any rate, Drew piped in and mentioned that his favorite name was Messiah. We talked a little about what that name meant (savior is a synonym) and then the boys went down into the basement to play. Well, Drew started singing the song "Jesus Messiah" by Chris Tomlin obviously prompted by our discussion of the name. Well, right then and there, I began to whistle and meditate on the words of the song. What does Name above all names really mean? Blessed redeemer - were there redeemers who were not blessed? How and why