Nonsensical Ramblings of Mark

I don't know why, but I continue to be amazed at the depth to which relationships have been affected by the fall. I know that every molecule of our being is depraved and in need of regeneration. The Calvinists have it right when they talk of the total depravity of man and the implications it has. But every once and a while I hear of something (or I perpetrate something) that makes me step back and ponder it all over again. Sometimes it gives merely gives me pause and sometimes it absolutely staggers me. It seems that imperfection piles on imperfection as snow falls on snow and buries that which should have been. The marring of this life (these lives) is all the way down and completely and utterly unredeemable save for the work of One. Truly hopeless and wanting am I so much so that the want was even produced by His Spirit. That I am an instrument at all is a testimony to who He is. That I am useful to Him and in His hands is no small miracle in itself. Thank God for His Son's e

I have to say that I am liking Ubuntu more and more nowadays. I have been looking for a solution to an issue that I was having where the hard drive was developing some unusual clicking noises. I found out that I needed to set the advanced power management level to disabled using the "sudo hdparm -B 255 /dev/sda" command. That stopped the clicking (and reportedly extends the life of my hard drive), but I needed to get the command to run automatically as I want it to be as brainless as possible for me to set it. Well, I came across a web page that instructed me to copy the command into a script file (99-hdd-spin-fix.sh) and copy that file into three different directories that will automatically run it upon suspend (/etc/acpi/suspend.d), start (/etc/acpi/sstart.d), and resume (/etc/acpi/resume.d). I tested it and it did not work initially but I forgot to make the script file executable (chmod 755 99-hdd-spin-fix.sh). After I did that all is well. I think. I was rather concerned

I was listening to the radio a while back and there was a gentlemen being interviewed that was peddling his new book. I heard him say something that I wasn't too sure about, but it seems to be ringing a bit truer to me now that I have had time to think about it. Not that it seems entirely true, but truer nonetheless. He talked about the labels we give our kids at times: "You're a troublemaker." or even "You are so smart." and how damaging both positive and negative labels can be. I rather thought that positive labels were good, but he mentioned that not everyone is smart all of the time. Not everyone is strong, handsome, intelligent, or witty all of the time. We put pressure on people when we label them with something because it sets expectations and expectations can lead to disappointment. I guess part of me had to get into the emotional side of this statement to assess its validity in my life (being rejected caused me to doubt who people said I was) but al

As good as I feel now, I should have been more on the game yesterday. I wrote in a previous post that I had some soreness in my "vlorch" and muscled through it on my morning run not wanting to tank it. Well, the soreness didn't go away so I was in an extended period of healing for that. Then the snows came and running outside was an improbability most days and an impossibility some days. I decided that I had to find some other way to exercise. Well, I just couldn't get motivated to do that. Try as I might running, it seems, is what I was meant to do. It was a real struggle to do anything else. So, this morning, I ran. And it felt great. It felt like I was home as I hoofed it through the neighborhood. I stuck to the roads because they were nice and clear (there were some icy patches on the sidewalks) but it was a great morning and I only had to step in one snow bank. Even though it was a "fun run" I am excited to be back in the saddle. We will see what the do

I was looking to get my Dell IR port enabled so that I could synchronize my Palm with the content on the laptop using it and ran into some interesting issues. For one, the serial connection between the Palm and the laptop works flawlessly so that is always an option. But I am not all that interested in plugging yet another cord into the laptop to achieve something so I thought that I would embark on getting the infrared port enabled so that I could sync that way. Well, it looked like I needed to install an update to the irda-utils and setserial packages. Off to Synaptic I went and, when I selected the packages to update, it prompted me for my install CD. This was much to reminiscent of Windows updates for my taste, but I did manage to burn a new CD from and .iso that I had lying around and popped it in the drive. Well, it turns out that the setserial package could not be located on the CD because of a hash sum mismatch. It turns out that there is an option in Synaptic that allows you t

I may have to moderate my stance a bit on circumstances controlling how I feel. Maybe. Last night I hashed some things out with a fellow minister that had been simmering for a while and causing me a bit of stress. I cannot tell you how much better I feel having done that. I am amazed that I waited as long as I did to talk to them about the situations that were causing me stress and I thank God for recent events that paved the way for me to talk to them. All that to say that there were definite, uneasy feelings that I had in response to the situation (read: circumstances) that I found myself in. I pray they were Spirit-led. I may need to refine my mantra of not letting circumstances control how I feel. I have noticed that my blog is being accessed, more and more, by people that are searching for help in configuring their modems in Ubuntu 7.10 and looking for my experiences with a program known as i2Workout. The Palm m500 that I scored off of ebay for the low low price of $35 came on Sat

I have written in at least one previous post about my life and that I am always losing things and then, sometimes, finding them. Then I lose more stuff and am in need of finding those things as well. Well, this morning, I found the red snow brush that we had been missing. The tip of the handle was peering out from under the front, passenger-side seat in my car. It is jammed in there pretty good, but I will free it tonight in time for more snow and sleet that is forecast for this weekend. I am still missing some things (most notably my Once Dead Vengeance Rising CD) but at least one mystery is solved. I am looking forward to the next thing that turns up missing. I have a feeling the oldest son is going to inherit this gift of mine. He came home from school one day without one sneaker. The next day he was missing one boot. The next day he was missing the new pair of gloves that were purchased for him for this winter. All of these things have since shown up again (we are still unaware of

It's the beat Don't give me your opinion, show me a chapter and a verse - It's the beat, Deliverance Those who know me find one of my more endearing (annoying) qualities is my affinity for Christian heavy metal music. I remember talking with my second college roommate about the music he introduced me to and being incredulous when he mentioned that it was controversial in greater Christendom. But that is another story. One of my favorite metal bands, Deliverance, recorded an album called What a Joke and it really wasn't all that good especially as the follow up to their Weapons of Warfare album which is till considered by some to be one of the best Christian metal albums of all time and as the precursor to their "change of direction" album Stay of Execution. Well, they had a song called "It's the beat" where the above lyrics came from. As unremarkable as that song was on an equally unremarkable album the two lines above really struck me and have

"Pagans" that we are we went ahead and decorated the tree last night after having secured the beast on Saturday and erecting it in the living room on Sunday night after the Amazing Race. There weren't too many hiccups in the process although we noticed a slight (ok more than slight) tilt in the tree that required some not-so-subtle readjusting. The boys were really into it this year and were less than patient with their mother and me as we strung the lights and the garland that we have forgotten more than remembered. Once that was out of the way they were very excited about the ornaments and hung them with great zeal. Speaking of zeal I was a bit over zealous with cutting the branches off the bottom the tree does look good. It is not as full a tree as in years past but it is more than made up in the fact that the four of us had a hand in picking it out and getting it looking as good as it is. In addition I am more than impressed with my reciprocating saw and the ease in w

Here we are We have come this far To say a prayer On Lindisfarne - Journey Into the Morn, Iona I am not sure what to make of it. I know that God fills this universe such that every atom holds the whole of Him. Moving in God such that I breathe in and out inhaling and exhaling oxygen and carbon dioxide that contains all of who He is I don't know what to make of it. There are so many people (myself included at times) that have this incredible sense of place and pilgrimage. As if this place that they have come upon holds such special significance that there is a greater sense of the One who created it. Is this a person that lacks faith and doctrine such that they lose sight of the omnipresence of God, or is there something more than that? I know Christ Himself retreated to special places to pray and to commune with his Dad, but I wonder why. Was it to just get away from it all or was there something more significant about Gethsemane that night or in the previous times he prayed there

I have been impressed with Lisa Whelchel and her post-Facts-of-Life life, but I am even more impressed with her now that I have run across the fact that she collaborated with Steve Taylor on a project: Lyrics of a song Steve Taylor wrote for her called Good Girl. mp3 of her belting it out Not only did she have the good sense of getting Steve Taylor to write her a song, but she even gave a go at singing it. She is smarter and braver than I could be all at the same time. Rock on Blair! Powered by ScribeFire .

It is not impossible to floss your teeth while driving a car with a manual transmission. Don't ask me how I know this. Powered by ScribeFire .

We had a food collection in the Champions club that wrapped up on November 14th. I  now have a bunch of food down in my basement ready to go somewhere. While buying batteries last night for my sons' new Buzz Lightyear race track I noticed that there was a collection barrel for food at the local grocery store sponsored by Foodlink which is the food bank here in Western New York. Having interned at the Regional Food Bank of Northeastern New York I was well aware of food bank operations and thought contributing to this drive would be a good thing. This morning I mentioned to my wife that I found a place for the food and she mentioned that she had spoken with a friend of ours who knew of a family that needed food and clothing. She told us about the need that this family had in an email on November 19th. I am tempted to chalk this up to a happy circumstance, but it seems to be much more than that. Through this I am reminded that I am to be obedient and faithfully apply the revealed wil

You gotta look sharp You gotta look sharp And you gotta have no illusions Just keep going your way looking over your shoulder - Look Sharp, Joe Jackson In at least one previous post I have talked about my teenage and off and on continuing affinity for all things Joe Jackson. Well, I was getting the youngest dressed for his annual Christmas picture with his brother and I said that he looked sharp. He asked what it meant to look sharp and I told him it meant handsome and then I started to sing the refrain to the song Look Sharp by Joe Jackson. After I was done with that he had a quizzical expression on his face and, in response to the song, asked "Why, Daddy?" Why indeed. I remember watching a special on the Moody Blues on PBS a while ago where they lamented that people looked to them for answers because they were asking questions. Questions that were profound, relevant, and that struck a chord with the people that listened to their music. Such was their lament that they actu

I really can't stand standing still. I have a lot of nervous energy and it shows quite a bit as I fidget when I talk to people or when my computer monitor looks like a fireworks show as I zip back and forth between different applications. I don't need coffee, but I do like it. I think that the main way this lack of attention benefits me is that I get bored easily. I need to constantly tweak things so that my attention is held which leads to (I hope) some innovations that make a real difference in various places. I have had some blunders and near disasters, but those are rare in comparison to the "micro-improvements" I think I have been able to make. (You see my temperament bleeding through here. No self-respecting sanguine would ever admit defeat.) I teach a wide range of kids on a weekly basis as a member of my church. There are a lot of innovative things going on and there have been more than micro-improvements that have been made in both the curriculum that is bein

Well, it has been a long time in coming, but I have successfully configured and used my modem under Ubuntu 7.10. Here is what I did: The Linmodems support page was very helpful in providing a utility called scanModem to scan my system to help me determine what modem I had installed in my Dell Latitude D610. I ran the scanModem utility and opened the ModemData.txt file where, on line 106, I found that there was an install package for the modem that corresponded to the kernel version I am running (2.6.22). I then followed the directions to extract the contents of the file and install the .deb package. The trick for me was to run the 'sudo wvdialconf /etc/wvdial.conf' command as this command scanned all of the ports to find which one my modem was installed on. It found that it was installed on /dev/ttySHSF0 and wrote the configuration to the wvdial.conf file. I then used the 'sudo wvdial' command to dial out and connect to my ISP ( Bluefrog ) using configuration informat

There's hungering and despair There's hungering it's unfair There's hungering everywhere There's hungering in solitaire There's hungering in pairs There's hungering everywhere But it's not here - Lost Dogs, The New Physics It takes a lot of energy for me to focus on me. Not that I need help indulging my pride or selfishness - I have got that down. What I need is to stay focused on the evil that is inside of me rather than the evil that is out there. Taking it one step out it is easy for me to get caught up in the dysfunction in other families and ignore the dysfunction in my own. It is hard for me to hear criticism but I cannot even begin to explain what a gift that is to me. It allows me the ability to look at me through someone else's eyes, which independent of the criticism is an impossible feat. It is almost like I have been handed an opportunity to confront the dross that is in my life and deal with it. Burn it in the fire of holiness and eradic

I remember when we moved into our current house in August 2003 and wondering when I would get that feeling that I was home after having been away for a while. There is nothing quite like walking through the front or side door after having been away for a while and getting the sense of the familiar that floods my heart. Knowing that I walked into something that I am intimately aware of and can say that I am "home" didn't come the minute I moved in. It developed over time. When did I get it? That, I'm afraid, I do not recall. Like the date of my salvation (all of the signs point to sometime in October 1998) I am not fully aware of when it happened - when the feeling of strangeness was replaced by familiarity, but I know that it has happened already. I think I missed an opportunity to map out how long it took. I am not sure if I will have another opportunity like that again. The funny thing is I recall that my bringing the lack of the feeling I was "home" to mi

I set a mini goal this week to run 10 miles. Not in one day but cumulatively over the week. Well, this morning, I did it. I started out on my run and noticed that I had some pain in my, um, vlorch. Those who know me know what that is. I almost turned around but noticed that the light was on at the next door neighbors house and I didn't want them to see me tank the run so I pressed on. I know I'm superficial but it seems getting the job done at times. So on I went determined to make this a "fun run" (2.4 miles instead of 3.2). I am glad I did because the vlorch loosened up some and I was able to get the run in just fine. So, I ran 4 times this week - three 2.4 mile runs and one 3.2 mile one for a total of 10.4 miles. I could have done the 3.2 one today, but I got out a little late and I was screwing around with whether I should continue the run or not. Oh well. The next goal will be four 3.2 mile runs in a week, but I am already running more miles now than I ever have

OK, for the one person that is keeping track of my life on this blog...the night went great. We had two world leaders, two lumberjacks, and many mad scientists running around and the Champs seemed to be into the astronomy demonstrations (especially Celestia) and the like. We even had some kids remember to bring in their food for the Thanksgiving Food Drive which was impressive. All in all very worth doing as I have always found that a combination of science and way-cool technology to be a good combination to communicate knowledge and to peak interest. Hopefully, above all, this begins to cement in the clubbers that fact that the leaders love them and want what's best for them. I sincerely hope that those relationships continue to be formed and firmed as they are, by far, the most effective means of ministry. Powered by ScribeFire .

Tonight we are doing something in the Champions Club (3rd - 6th grade boys and girls) that we have never done before. We are having "Mad Scientist, Lumberjack, World Leader Night". Yes, I made it up. I had it on the calendar last year but chickened out of it not knowing how I was going to pull it off. Well, tonight, I am still not sure how I am going to pull it off, but we are ready to go. I think. I will be demonstrating the use of my NexStar 114GT telescope, a couple of astronomy computer programs ( Stellarium and Celestia ) and also a "lucky" clubber will get to assist me in making a goofy hovercraft out of a paper plate and a balloon. Of course the Champs were encouraged to dress up in either mad scientist, lumberjack, or world leader attire so prizes will be given to the best looking one of those as well. I will be dressing up as the Mad Scientist "Dr. Payne" and, hopefully, scare my sons in the process. If this works it will be miraculous. Powered by

It is so easy to "play" church and it is so easy to "play" ministry. There are a number of things that I can be involved in that would be fun to do and require no real effort other than showing up on time and doing my best when I am there. I would simply go, do my thing, then leave it all behind. I would then engage it again when the time came and the cycle would repeat itself. Some days that seems so attractive to me, but that would be a waste of time. I doubt God would be interested in the time I spent, for example, re-shelving books in the library or even generating checks for the bills we incur. It seems to me that He would be more pleased with my efforts if I truly struggled to find a balance between small group and large group interactions; or if I deal with difficult personalities and perceived roadblocks towards more effective ministry. I have to deal with some of these things presently and I am not at all thrilled about it. What I am happy (or at least joyf

Not that long ago I wrote an entry about how inexact the standards are as I seek to please God in this new life He has given me. I still feel frustrated at times that I don't have a checklist of sorts to refer to as I look to live a holy life, but I am beginning to get in touch with the emotional aspect of it all a little more. I was sucking up leaves last Friday in our front garden when I realized that the standard of, financially, "being rich toward God" (or generosity) is both freeing and challenging at the same time. There is a great amount of glorious freedom when the children of God serve Him as he holds all of us to the same standard. How that standard is measured out is the same, but it's material manifestation is different. I am not to be ashamed that my being rich toward God may be a paltry sum in comparison to another's. Rather, the freedom is there to rejoice that God is having His way in both of us when we give. At the same time it is a challenge in t

My oldest son blew me away last night with his Bible knowledge. Well, actually, he has done it a couple of times already. There was one conversation at the dinner table where he said he liked Abel better than Cain because Abel was a shepherd. I could have sworn that Cain was the shepherd, but he insisted. So, out came the Bible and we looked it up. Sure enough - Abel was the shepherd and Cain was the farmer. Good job, Son. Last night when we were just about to wrap up bath time he asked me what the name Jacob meant. I knew what it meant but wanted him to tell me and he did. He said it meant "tricky" which is a good 1st grade translation of "he deceives" or, more specifically, "he grasps the heal". So I then asked him the stumper question (or so I thought) of what his name was changed to. Well, he got that one right too: Israel. We then talked about what Israel meant (struggles or wrestles with God) and how Jacob got the name. We also talked about who Jacob

I was ordering some books online for the youngest boy last night and recalled the book "Goodnight Moon" that I, unlike any other "children's" book, thoroughly enjoy. The last couple of pages where the bunny is says goodnight to "nobody" and finally goodnight to "noises everywhere" strikes chords in me that I cannot explain. The quiet old lady whispering "hush" captures my imagination as well. To see the juxtaposition of the two minds and how they react to the upcoming sleep is truly amazing. What a great book. I was reading in Acts chapter 13 last night and came across verse 41 which is actually Paul quoting Habakkuk 1:5: "'Look, you scoffers, wonder and perish, for I am going to do something in your days that you would never believe, even if someone told you.'" This is in obvious reference to the Gospel and the absolute marvel it is that God would be enfleshed (as it were) and shed blood to pay the price that was

From the "Yeah-I-Get-That" department: We were leaving the pizza shop last Friday night with the dinner we were going to share with my parents when the youngest decided to shout "Woof! Woof! Woof!" at the top of his lungs. I decided to just let it go for some reason until I noticed more than one person staring from their cars at him in utter disbelief and, I'm sure from the shock, laughing. It was at that point that I told him that was about enough of the shenanigans. Holy cow. I spelled shenanigans right. Powered by ScribeFire .

The cynic in me is not enamored with financial giving as a spiritual discipline. There has been a lot of talk lately within our church concerning this topic as we are looking to add on to the existing structure our church meets in and we need a lot of money to do it. It is funny because the same hymns/special music that are sung after a sermon on, for example, combating selfishness or lust seem to ring truer to me than those same hymns sung after a plea to be "rich toward God" financially. In my flesh I seem to equate those songs with a less-than-subtle attempt at manipulating me out of money that could go to other purposes - most of which have to do with me and my lifestyle. God will have nothing in my life that robs Him of worship and that includes my money. Again, I don't see why this is so hard for me to equate the eradication of lust as somewhat more of a priority than sacrificially giving money towards a project or a cause that will help build the kingdom. Why do I

I am amazed at the power of the human mind. There have been so many times that I have given up in frustration over trying to work something out. After sleeping on it and going at it the next day I seem to have no problem completing the task or seeing the error. Back from my run this morning (the first one in a while) I had a couple of ideas (one work-related and one ministry-related) that I think may merit something of value. I am working on getting the work one implemented now and doing some tire-kicking on the ministry one. All that to say that I am not sure where those ideas, or any ideas for that matter, come from. Why do they pop into my head when they do and what does the timing of their manifestation mean (if anything)? What is the genesis of the next idea I have and what processes are in place and running now so that it germinates into my consciousness? And who has known the mind of God? Who has become His counselor? Powered by ScribeFire .

I am wired to work. I would like to have known this (in my heart) in my growing up years rather than internalizing it now, but I guess late is better than never. Before going to work today I emptied the garbage and put some mole poison down in the front yard. Yesterday I was, once again, the storyteller for the High Point children's church program at North, I mowed the lawn picking up the leaves in the process, we cleaned out the bonus area of our basement and the oldest and I started a pretty good layout with the Thomas the Tank Engine track. I also had the chance to help the oldest with his math and reading homework. On Saturday I spent close to five hours cutting up the rest of the wood at the in-laws house after spending the morning with the boys and their friends. All of this is written not to pat myself on the back as to how busy I was, but to illustrate that more and more and by His grace I am beginning to realize that working satisfies me. That is no great mystery to Bible

Upgrading an installation of the Ubuntu Linux OS while Tourniquet is blessing my brain through my iPod is perhaps a glimpse into what life can be, but often is not. Well, I decided to take the plunge, download the .iso and upgrade from Ubuntu 7.04 to Ubuntu 7.10. There were only a few minor hiccups that had nothing to do with anyone but me: I almost blew away my Windows partition (yes, I still have one of those) which would have been a bit more than a minor inconvenience I had to restart the install because I forgot that the installation was going to do some mirror scanning for apt configuration and needed access to the world wide web. Of course that meant I had to set the proxy, but I failed to do that the first time through. Things look good for now. Samba is on there so the network connections to my lab PCs are all good. I would like to think that network printing is easier, but I will check that out. The iPod is much easier to connect to than it was with 7.04. I had high hopes

What is this that brings me hope in the middle of the night? Makes me run to You? - what is this, King's X Sometimes I wonder whether this whole obedience to God thing is really all that it is cracked up to be. What does prayer do anyway? Is it really worth it to serve Him and to pattern my life after that of His Son? Is He really conforming me into the image of Christ or is this something that is happening because I am maturing on my own? These questions and more like them cross my mind from time to time and unsettle me. They don't scare me, because He knows I am but dust, but maybe they should. Maybe I should be asking questions that do scare me more - is that where the real, life-changing answers lie? I do know that driving into work today I realized that I was made for more than the trips I take to the office; more than the work I accomplish; and even more than the ministries I am engaged in. I was made to love Him and find my entire satisfaction in Him. He has set His lov

I had a hard time getting any type of persistence out of my install of Ubuntu 7.04 so I decided to go for a USB install of 7.10 (Gutsy Gibbon) instead using these directions: http://www.pendrivelinux.com/2007/09/28/usb-ubuntu-710-gutsy-gibbon-install/ It went much smoother than the 7.04 install so that was a nice surprise. Also, there was a separate procedure to make the 7.04 release persistent and the persistence thing is fixed with the 7.10 version. I have it all up and running and am able to read data from and save data to the USB drive now. I have noticed it runs a little slower than the 7.04 release did, but the added persistence is more than worth the speed difference. Powered by ScribeFire .

What is a gorgeous marriage? I seems to me that it is a marriage where both spouses are constantly looking to out-sacrifice each other. I think that is an amazing (albeit incomplete) picture of God for He out-sacrifices me every second of every day. And the church's sacrifices for Christ are not even considered as such when I begin to scratch the surface of His for her. I am so far from this and, hence, still (and forever) a debtor to grace. Powered by ScribeFire .

Well, after numerous attempts last week I finally have my 4 Gb USB drive configured to run a persistent instance of Ubuntu 7.04 using these directions: http://www.pendrivelinux.com/2007/09/21/usb-ubuntu-704-persistent-install-for-linux-users/ The key for me was repairing the master boot record (MBR) using lilo. Once that was done I was able to get into the Linux install and noticed that it ran a lot faster than booting into a live instance from the CD. I am running USB 2.0 on the laptop so I guess that makes a difference. I need to run some tests to see which settings are saved upon exiting and which ones are not, but I think that will just take some time. I am just happy to have gotten this thing going after trying for quite some time. Powered by ScribeFire .

I remember when I began to exercise a while back I made up my mind that this was going to be the rest of my life. It has definitely been a case of "so far so good", but there have been obvious signs of encouragement along the way. Whether it was a comment about the the weight I have lost has staying off or a conversation about running with a friend, certain things seem to kick me in the pants and get me over a hump of a potential funk (or creeping lethargy) at just the right time. The most recent kick came from the next door neighbor who mentioned that he has seen me come back from my morning run quite a few times and congratulated me on my discipline. As superficial as that sounds things like that motivate me to keep going. There are numerous lessons in this, but one of the main ones is that I need to be an encouragement to others in the endeavors that they pursue. Who knows what "funk" I may be helping them to avoid. Then, maybe, I am the only one who needs this t

My wife and I have been approached by a good friend to substantially increase our involvement in a ministry that she is heading. Getting the ministry off the ground has been quite a challenge for her and, to sustain what is in place now, she has asked us to come alongside and get involved. The trouble is that we are currently involved in two other weekly ministries at this time and would have to let something slide in order to accommodate her request. As it is we already gave up the 2's and 3's Sunday School ministry so that we can get involved with her ministry. I am heavily leaning towards staying in the ministries we are in now and being involved in hers in a more limited way. I want to honor the commitment I have made to the ministries we are in now even when something "better" comes along. I do have to be careful to exercise my giftedness in the fullest way possible though and that is where I think the conflict lies. Powered by ScribeFire .

Before going to bed last night my wife and I had a conversation about churches and how our perspectives have changed concerning them. One thing that struck me was that I had been more than happy to be a member of a church that was growing in depth and not in breadth. In other words, in the "more and better disciples" abbreviated mission of any church I was more than happy to focus on the "better" part and shove the "more" part to the background. Obviously, anything that is healthy grows, and growth in any church can be in the quality of the disciples of Christ, right. Yes. Now, under the present leadership of the church I am a member in now, I have come to the point that if we needed to become members of another church, I would look for one that is growing in depth and breadth - or at least has a focus to grow that way. I reject the explanation of "oh well, it is a sign of the times" when a church does not make more disciples through evangelism a

My youngest son is in the Cubbies Awana program at North Baptist Church which is for 3 and 4 year old boys and girls. This, in and of itself, is a story, but last night it took a turn for the "worse". I was folding up a table and placing against a wall in the church building when one of the Cubbies leaders came out and mentioned that my son said that "Daddy has sin." This was a tad surprising, but I was glad that he recognized I did. I would rather have him recognize sin in himself, but that is for another day. I asked the leader what the reason was that he said that I had sin. Mr. Dave then replied it was because "Mommy yelled at Daddy in the car." We have to be careful around that boy. He is too smart for his own good. Powered by ScribeFire .

I am living with the looming specter of not being able to minister with my wife tonight and that is not a good feeling. We have a special event tonight at the Champions club I help lead (Our Second Annual Duct Tape and Super Cool Video Night) and her involvement would make a world of difference. Not only can I trust her, implicitly, with the excellent execution of any task that is put before her, but she knows me inside and out and knows what I mean when I say, for example, "The drinks need to be served outside." That is a great relief to me and makes my job so much easier. Of course that also means that her absence is felt that much more profoundly. Powered by ScribeFire .

Most people contemplate how small they are as they stare up into the unfamiliar heaven at the countless stars knowing that there is so much that they can't see. I contemplate the minuteness of my life passing over a bridge during rush hour and seeing a train heading in a tangential direction from me. Then as my gaze shifts eastward again I notice the line of cars heading from the east side of the city to points west. I need to hit my brakes ever so slightly to merge into a lane where I am usually offered the next available space between two cars. Where are all these people going? What is on their hearts and minds as they head to work, school, or even for a time of rest? How small my life is in the midst of it all and how inconsequential I have become as I signal for my exit. I squirrel another 8 or 9 hours away upstairs in this cube and assume my position again as I head for home. Just one of thousands this day that do the same. Powered by ScribeFire .

I will trust in the cross of my Redeemer I will sing of the blood that never fails. - Beautiful Savior , Stuart Townend Last night and this morning I was impressed with how ineffective I can be at times. My best efforts fall so short at times and do not achieve the results that I intend them to. Thanks be to God for His grace and, at times, the kick in the pants that I need as I reflect on my impotence and strive in His strength to overcome it. Breathing in and out again I rest in the blood that never fails. It will always save; always sanctify; always glorify. Beyond poetry and mere words it flows and provides the foundation for the effectual calling of the Holy Spirit Himself. Powered by ScribeFire .

I guess I wish the Scriptures were something more than what they actually are. I know that in them is exactly what we need to do to please God, grow in Christ-likeness, live in peace with God and others, but it is so maddeningly inexact at times it makes me want to pull my hair out. It seems to me that the requirements of the Law, in all their complexity and impossibility to attain or justify, were very detailed and very knowable. I mean the Festivals and their celebration, the sacrifices, the amount that must be tithed and contributed to the Lord is all there and there seems to be very little but black and white in the whole thing. Now, there are the amorphous and often nebulous requirements of things like love, generosity, grace...all of them clearly articulated in the mind of God Himself but nowhere do I find checklists of what the generous or loving thing is in every situation I find myself in. It surely isn't loving to let my sons do whatever pleases them but when do I interve

"God can't work this way." You may be right, but tell me why you think this way. Please. I need to know why you are so sure. Powered by ScribeFire .

It just feels like I am tumbling headlong into autumn with only "Jackie Stupid's" plastic brakes to, in vain, at least slow it down some. The oldest just completed his sixth session of Happy 5 Soccer Camp and he only has two more sessions before it breaks for another year. When we started the process it seemed like such a long time and such a monumental effort for him - eight weeks, two and a half hours a session, three games, drills, devotions...but he has done so well and is improving every time he steps out on the field. It is great to watch and, most importantly, he likes going. It is not a chore to get him up and around to go to soccer camp even when we need to wake him up at 7:45 am on a Saturday. We have yet to see if this is something that he will commit to long term, but I am proud of him and the effort that he has put into this. Powered by ScribeFire .

The past couple of weeks have been rough for me. I like my routine and I have definitely been out of it especially in the area of my exercise. My son started school on September 6 and, up until yesterday, I had not been out jogging since then which turned out to be a full, two-week spread of time. Well, I thought I should get back into my routine yesterday and went out for a run. I just about bought the farm . It was a rough ride for sure and I began to wonder how far the two-week break set me back. Undeterred by that near-death experience I went out again this morning and things were much better. I did come across the lady who I had crossed paths with before who has two killer shih tzus. The last time I came near her I thought they were going to break their leashes they came after me so hard. I hadn't seen her in a while and I was wondering if she moved. Now I have my answer. One of these days I will write about "beer lawn guy" or "walking cigar guy". The color

I had the chance to listen to a very good sermon on Sunday concerning relevancy in our ministries. I am not sold on the application of the particular passage (Acts 15) to the topic, but I could not argue with the rest of the content. One verse was called out for special attention: "Therefore it is my judgment that we should not trouble those who are turning to God from among the Gentiles." (15:19) The context of this verse is the placement of undue burden on the Gentile believers to be circumcised and instruction to keep the law of Moses in order to attain salvation. Is this applicable to making the Word accessible to people in different cultures and different generations? I think it may be a bit of a stretch, but I can see a principle operating here. I used to gather with a church that had a meeting place that was at least 40 minutes from my house. It is a great body of believers, but it made it impossible for us to invite people and have any reasonable expectation of them a

I knew I had seen him somewhere before...and then it dawned on me. Jean Pierre is, in both looks and temperament, a mix between Keith Richards (of Rolling Stones fame) and Mr. Betz. Powered by ScribeFire .

I guess just like everything else that is worth doing blogging is work. It is so easy to just let things slip a little, then a little more, then a little more...until I am out of the habit and not doing what I found so much value in doing previous to my cessation of the activity. This week we are beginning our second year of the Champions Club at North Baptist and I am a little more excited than usual about it. I will be doing some different things this year (ever the tinkerer) but still have some planks to put in place before I can call myself truly ready (like what I am going to talk about this coming night). The pressure is good for me though as I find myself at my best when I am working under a definite deadline - not a manufactured one, but one with real consequences if I miss it. Maybe that is why I am so prone to wander from the Lord. I have no firm answer for the question of the promise of His coming. If I did I am sure I would be much more focussed. But that seems to be the po

Just in case anyone was wondering.... I will be inconsistent in the blogging for a while - massive amount of responsibility this week and next. Hopefully I'll be back to regular blogging soon. FYI - my work blogging has hit the wall too so it's just not here. Powered by ScribeFire .

Well I was away from work for 4 days and let me tell you - they were packed. On Friday we went to the Strong Museum with the boys (one of their favorite places to go) and then I almost got the entire deck completed. We then wen over to my folks house, had pizza and the like, and planned their anniversary party. Saturday was soccer camp with the oldest and then the oldest and I headed off to my in-laws to cut up some wood for their wood-burning fireplace which is their primary source of heat. Sunday we gathered with the church in the morning and I gave a short presentation on the Shepherding a Child's Heart Sunday School class I have been a part of and then taught Junior Church during the second service. Then I got the entire deck done with one coat of stain and started the second coat on the outside-facing areas. Then Sunday night was "Church at the Beach" where 9 people were baptized. We also got to hold a good conversation with our boys about baptism and why people get

Well I was away from work for 4 days and let me tell you - they were packed. On Friday we went to the Strong Museum with the boys (one of their favorite places to go) and then I almost got the entire deck completed. We then wen over to my folks house, had pizza and the like, and planned their anniversary party. Saturday was soccer camp with the oldest and then the oldest and I headed off to my in-laws to cut up some wood for their wood-burning fireplace which is their primary source of heat. Sunday we gathered with the church in the morning and I gave a short presentation on the Shepherding a Child's Heart Sunday School class I have been a part of and then taught Junior Church during the second service. Then I got the entire deck done with one coat of stain and started the second coat on the outside-facing areas. Then Sunday night was "Church at the Beach" where 9 people were baptized. We also got to hold a good conversation with our boys about baptism and why people get

Well I was away from work for 4 days and let me tell you - they were packed. On Friday we went to the Strong Museum with the boys (one of their favorite places to go) and then I almost got the entire deck completed. We then wen over to my folks house, had pizza and the like, and planned their anniversary party. Saturday was soccer camp with the oldest and then the oldest and I headed off to my in-laws to cut up some wood for their wood-burning fireplace which is their primary source of heat. Sunday we gathered with the church in the morning and I gave a short presentation on the Shepherding a Child's Heart Sunday School class I have been a part of and then taught Junior Church during the second service. Then I got the entire deck done with one coat of stain and started the second coat on the outside-facing areas. Then Sunday night was "Church at the Beach" where 9 people were baptized. We also got to hold a good conversation with our boys about baptism and why people get

I listen to my iPod at work for some background noise when I don't need to concentrate so much on what I need to do. Because I am in a cube I use headphones. Recently I have been made aware that when I have my headphones on people think that I am on the phone. This is funny to me on a variety of levels, but if they only knew what I was listening to then they would realize how many brain cells I was killing rather than how I was making the company more money. On a related note I am exploring the possibility of changing positions in the company I work for. This is hard for me because I have a pretty good gig in my current position and my boss just stopped by and told me to take tomorrow off. He has always said to me that he has a life outside of work and he expects me to have one too. That's good stuff. The new position is more in my technical sweet spot and is a raise in pay. Maybe even a significant one. I have worked with the people that are in the new position I am considerin

Can I call blessings ridiculous? Is that sacreligious? Maybe extravagant is a better word for it. My wife received word last Friday that our boys were more than welcome to represent Rochester Hearing and Speech (where they received excellent service) at the Rochester Red Wings baseball game by throwing out the first pitch. Not only that, but we were treated to a great picnic before the game and got seats on the first base line (more out towards right field). The weather was amazing and, all in all, it was a great night. Of course there were a profuse amount of pictures and video taken and the boys received a baseball that had the Red Wings logo and the words "First Pitch" on it. All this and heaven too? What manner of love is this? Lord, when I am alone and the dark tempts me to doubt your goodness, please let me remember these days and restore the joy of my salvation to me quickly. Powered by ScribeFire .

It is painful to me how much of the way I live is derived from other sources. Then again, the "original" thoughts that come to me have a tendency to be a little more than annoying (or dangerous when it comes to the games my boys and I play) to most people. But every once and a while the pain of derivation is lessened somewhat when I think of a new way to combine what has been said or written to bring clarity to my all-too-little world. Yesterday was an example of this. It is hard for me to explain the concept of "roles" that, especially, my wife and I have been given when it comes to our position in the family unit. I am the head of the family as Christ is head of the church and called to continually love and "out-sacrifice" my wife (as Christ did for the church). Submitting to her needs I am to be an example of the servant leader that he was for us. My wife's role in the family is to lovingly submit to me (as the church does to Christ) and be my eyes,

Rather than ask myself "What does God want me to do?", I think a more appropriate question is "How does God want me to apply what is found in the Word to the decision I need to make?". I think the paralysis I feel most times concerning important decisions has more to do with the fact that I am clueless about His sovereign will for my life and I am afraid of being out of that will when I move in a particular direction. Well, He isn't going to be cluing me in to what He, exactly, has in store for me tomorrow. I think the faithful application of His revealed will (almost exclusively found in the Scriptures) to this life He has given me and the situations He has put me in is what He asks of me. That's the struggle and there is little there to paralyze me...unless the flesh has its way. "So, what does the Bible say?" Powered by ScribeFire .

I just completed my viewing of the Space Shuttle Endeavor's landing at the Kennedy Space Center and I enjoyed every second of it. What a relief to know that our astronauts made it home completing their mission to the International Space Station (I think it was the shuttle's 20th or 21st mission there). I got choked up a little when it touched down and when the wheels finally stopped rolling. As the vehicles to assist the Endeavor crew rolled toward the craft it made quite an impression on me. This is us at our best. We have an insatiable desire to explore, inhabit, colonize, and subdue. We know where this drive came from and, regardless of its imperfection, I still see the image of God in it all. Powered by ScribeFire .

In the it-seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time department.... I started in on the deck on Friday and got a good first coat on the main deck (minus the stairs and railing) and let it dry for 3 hours or so and then started in on the second coat. I had just gotten done with the second coat of the stain and then the skies blessed us with the rain we have been needing for a while. There were showers of blessing and I would have been much more interested in the "mercy drops" at that point, but there was someone pleading for the showers I'm sure. I think I held it together pretty well (I forgot to ask my wife what her impression of my countenance was) and the rain set me back only a little. Of course this is a situation when I can laugh about it now, but at the time it was terrible. Terrible that God would send the rain and wash off at least half of my second coat. But then that is life here and in heaven as well. This is God's story and not mine. I have no idea why he sent t

Decisions, decisions...making up my mind has never been one of my strong suits. I had originally taken today and Friday off from work so that I could paint our deck which is peeling through no fault of my own. It needs it badly and I think it will look so much better when it is done. I went out with the boys last night and got everything I needed and was ready to go. But then the time came to make a decision. There is rain threatening "later this afternoon". Hmmm....the can of opaque stain says to not use it if rain is imminent. OK, good, not sure how that helps. Is 6 hours imminent or are we talking about something more immediate? At any rate I decided to come to work today and take my chances on tomorrow. Supposedly there is rain in the forecast for tomorrow morning so I'll have to decide, yet again, whether to stay or go. Sometimes I feel like a mess but other times it is nice to put a stake in the ground. Even if that stake does not settle my decision in my mind even

If I was a young boy now I am sure I would get hit with the ADD or ADHD label and, depending on who was raising me, get saddled with some type of medication. Some days, like today, my mind just seems to go a mile a minute and some days, like today, I think I am just barely treading water. Then there are other days when my hyper active state of mind allows me the ability to focus on many things at once getting things done with a great deal of efficiency and ease. I think those days are fewer and more far between than I would like them to be however. Maybe I just need to lay off of the caffeine. I saw a guy on a Guinness Book of World Records show when I was younger try to recite the entire soliloquy of Hamlet in some obscene amount of time like under 25 seconds or something. Hah - I spelled soliloquy right the first time. Today, I feel like I could give him a run for his money. Powered by ScribeFire .

Note to self: To relieve any possible ambiguity for fellow co-workers do not use the term "liquored up and ready to go" to communicate the fact that you have successfully installed software and are ready for data to be loaded into it. Powered by ScribeFire .

I am getting more and more comfortable with Linux and using the command line to get things done in the OS. I heard it said that, along the way, someone has led us to believe that the GUI is the most efficient way to get things done in a particular operating system. I think the GUI has its place but there are certain operations that are best left to the command line it seems. To have a mastery of the terminal command line (or at least a good understanding of its capabilities) is essential when the GUI that I am presented with just gets in the way. Powered by ScribeFire .

I read this on a website from someone who ought to know better: "Worship is a large part of every church service." It is hard for me to even know where to go with this. This is a misuse of the "place" of worship as the church gathers (worship is the only reason the church gathers on Sunday at all) and is a misunderstanding of worship in general. If my boys ever say something like this they will get a talking to about what worship is (not an activity of the church alone) and why we assemble as and with the church to worship God through our presence, fellowship, service, singing, hearing the word preached, and encouragement of one another as a body of believers. Powered by ScribeFire .

For the first time since I have been jogging outside I felt really good this morning. Of course with the humidity then at about 80% the sweat that poured from my pores didn't go anywhere, but I was in a good rhythm in my breathing from just about the start, and I didn't have any knee pain like I have had in the past climbing the stairs to the office cube. A good start to the morning. Maybe I can get used to this outside jogging thing yet. Powered by ScribeFire .

Two instances where the "Sunday-school" answers i received were not only wrong but were dangerous were when in reference to the purpose of parables and miracles. Strictly speaking, growing up Catholic, I never attended Sunday School as my boys do now, but we had plenty of theology (i.e. religion) classes in the schools I attended from Kindergarten through 12th grade. Parables were not to make unfamiliar subjects (like the Kingdom of God) more familiar through the use of common imagery. It was quite the opposite actually in that they were meant to obscure these subjects and separate the truth-seekers from those looking to have their ears tickled: And the disciples came and said to Him, "Why do You speak to them in parables?" Jesus answered them, "To you it has been granted to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been granted." "For whoever has, to him more shall be given, and he will have an abundance; but whoever does no

I worked on this list when the electricity was out last night for the second time. Thank God for laptop batteries: The entire book of Ezekiel but especially the personification of the Spirit, the constant reference to him as "son of man", and the siegeworks he was instructed to build against the model of Jerusalem he had constructed. Pilate. The dream that Pilate's wife had and what she requested her husband to do as a result of it. Joseph before Pilate requesting Jesus' body. The manna and the rotting quail in the wilderness. The fact that I have been crucified to the world and the world has been crucified to me. When Paul shook the snake that latched onto him into the fire he was warming himself by and the vigil kept by his company to see what would happen to him. A very human moment punctuated by morbid curiosity culminating in unexpected results. The victory death held before the Cross. The fact that John waited for a, most probably, quite winded Peter to arrive b

These are the days of miracle and wonder This is the long distance call The way the camera follows us in slo-mo The way we look to us all The way we look to a distant constellation That's dying in a corner of the sky These are the days of miracle and wonder And don't cry baby, don't cry, don't cry - Paul Simon, The Boy in the Bubble , Graceland I can't tell you how many times I listened to this album and I had all of the words down. The song "The Boy in the Bubble" was one of my favorites. I was reading a post from one of the amateur astronomers on a mailing list I belong to and he posted this (emphasis mine): Having been in astronomy off and on for 50 years, one of the wonderful things about this hobby is how rich it is, and there are always new and exciting things to see and do. Mars in August 2003 was absolutely spectacular, but not _that_ much different from Mars in 2005 or 2007. Well, maybe not 2007, since the current global dust storm on Mars is maki

"Well, what does the Bible say?" I found myself asking this on more than one occasion as I talked to the individuals I counseled on Saturday and Sunday. They didn't know. They knew what people said it may have said (some were right and some were wrong), but there was no knowledge of the Scriptures independent of what people said it meant. There is now no question in my mind what solving problems (or attempting to solve them) in our own strength means. And the fruit that such a pursuit bears - I've seen it with my own eyes and it is awful. I asked them to weigh my counsel against the commandments and principles found in the Word and make sure that the advice I was giving them was in line with it. I also asked them to correct me if my counsel was found lacking because I would counsel others in a similar situation the same way. They haven't come back to me so I assume that it was Scriptural. Or maybe I shouldn't assume that. At any rate, I can't rely on them

I have 3 brothers and two sisters so there is ample opportunity for us to be at odds with one another. In fact, the way the world is, I am surprised that we are not more upset with each other than we have a tendency to be (which is hardly ever). As a family, we have been wrangling through some issues and have had opportunity to offer counsel to an individual but, largely, on our own. We have had minimal coordination between us concerning how we were going to cousel this individual and what we were going to say. Yesterday I had a conversation with my brother and sister in law concerning the content of their counsel to this individual and came away with an unusual amount of peace. Not that I expect things to go wrong when they are involved, but I the peace I felt was rooted in knowing that we are appealing to a common authority (the Scriptures) when counseling this individual. This has led us to give advice to this person that is, straight up, the same - as if we were in the room togethe

I know it doesn't sound like much but I jogged outside for the first time since graduate school in Albany, New York. I only did about 2.5 miles but I think I could have done 3 if I really tried. It felt good and I didn't even take my iPod along with me. I guess I had enough to look at and ponder as I made my way through the neighborhood. It was not as rapturous an experience as some make it out to be, but it might grow on me yet. For some reason I was really nervous about doing it. I am not sure where that nervousness came from, but there was a certain apprehension about venturing out from the treadmill in the basement and into the great wide open. Well, with that under my belt I will continue down the path until I can get the part I need to fix the treadmill. It is almost as if God said, "There - that's busted. Time to try something new." Maybe that's why we get sick and suffer like we do sometimes. It is just God's way of revealing another part of Himsel

OK, I broke my treadmill this morning and, upon looking through the manual for the replacement parts, I found this: Sigh. Oh well, what am I going to do. Powered by ScribeFire .

The oldest came up to me and asked, "Daddy, who is Captain Slappy?" "A pirate," I said wondering where in the world that question came from. He let out a deep sigh and said, "He was right." The "he" was in reference to his younger brother. When I asked my wife why I was quizzed as I was she mentioned (in a not-too-happy-about-it-tone-of-voice-coupled-with-an-eye-roll) that it was a topic of conversation between the two of them all day. Ahhhh....summertime with boys. It is almost like it is a universe unto its own. Powered by ScribeFire .

Hey - I was listening to a Chris Rice album, Past the Edges, this morning and thought of you when he sang Blessed are those who have not seen, and yet believe And blessed are the hands that keep giving and never receive Blessed is the heart that gets broken, but keeps holding on Keeps holding on another day 'Cause that's what it means to live by faith. Isn't it just like God to free us from sight? Your hands are, certainly, just like Christ's. Powered by ScribeFire .

A while back I wrote about "playing the ball" which, when applied to life, means that I need to engage the circumstances in my life rather than passively watch them happen. I also, to my wife's chagrin, apply this to my euchre strategy in that I would rather make trump than have trump made for me. I was very impressed with my wife this weekend as she played the ball, so to speak, better than I have seen in a long time. There were two circumstances yesterday where, without flinching, she moved in to fill a need in a way that showed extraordinary selflessness. It not only reinforced the great thing that it was that she said yes to my marriage proposal but showed both the saved and unsaved the extent that she is controlled by the Spirit of God Himself. She will not have trump made for her nor will she stand flat-footed as the ball careens off of the heel of her glove. She has moved and will continue to move, deliberately and sacrificially, to demonstrate her care for those a

Out of all the things I could be doing, what about building a Linux distribution of my own called MarkDudleyRambles Linux. The home page to the browser bundled with the OS could be my blogs on Blogspot and Wordpress. I even went so far as to begin the download the of the LiveCD to begin the process. I think it would be fun and, um, who could say that they have their very own Linux distribution? Or, to put it another way, who would want to say that they have their very own Linux distribution? It is a good thing I am already married. Powered by ScribeFire .

I got caught in a hurricane No one but myself to blame I got lost in the rain Then I got stuck in a spider web Tangled up in all my cares Such a lonely affair - Lose This Life, Tait I admit the deed (Can you hear the beating?) - The Tell-Tare Heart, Tourniquet As a Christian I am called to confess (agree, admit) and, in so doing, find release. Going, making my peace with God is a daily walk for me. Not that I lose my sonship, but I am a rebellious child as God slowly melts my heart and molds it to match that of His Son's. There is such release when, finally, I can come to God as I am when my entire being moves in concert toward Him and I admit that I am undone, weak, and in need of His grace once again. And then there are implications for my relationships and fellowship with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I had a friend in college that I never heard confess a single sin. Of course he ascribed to the orthodox position that he was a sinner in need of saving, but as I hung out wi

When my race has been run I want only this to be said of me: He loved God. Powered by ScribeFire .

One of the few things that I want my sons to internalize is to always look at events in their lives through God's perspective. Not only to see what it is that He requires, but to see the events and circumstances in their lives as if He is moving them along towards something...for, certainly, He is. Now this can get a little hairy at times in that God has a million reasons for everything that happens in my life. I need to accept that things may happen in my life for God to affect change in someone else and rest in the knowledge that I am a tool in His toolbox of sorts. Also, there is a danger in finding a reason for everything, but there are some things that He has clues me in on and, when He does, it is warmly reassuring. During a slow time at work I thought it would be a good thing for me to set up my laptop to run Linux and really begin to learn it. I am doing a lot of work with researchers now and my new found Linux knowledge has proven to be indispensable. Now it could have bee

This took much longer than it should have, but I finally got the default JRE on my Ubuntu Linux partition on my laptop to be version 1.6. Here is how I did it: 1. Ran the command "sudo apt-get install sun-java6-bin sun-java6-fonts sun-java6-jre sun-java6-plugin" to install the necessary files on the system. apt-get is quickly becoming my best friend. Now, normally, running the "java -version" command would specify what version of Java was identified as the default, but I consistently was receiving this: The program 'java' can be found in the following packages: * j2re1.4 * gij-4.1 * kaffe * jamvm * java-gcj-compat * cacao * sablevm Try: apt-get install Make sure you have the 'universe' component enabled bash: java: command not found Which was interesting since I just installed the JRE. 3. The missing piece was running the command "sudo update-alternatives --config java" which produced this: There are 2 alternatives which provide `jav

In my exercising this morning (what there was of it) and in the car on my way to work I listened to my iPod Nano on shuffle. They were all upbeat songs (can you imagine exercising to a movement that is Adagio? I can't) and I skipped around a bit looking for the right song to listen to as I drove in, especially. I read a blog post a while back that talked about craving the continuity of an album and I know what the person means. It also has implications for the world view that I hold and the struggle between my position in Christ and my practice here in this life. There is a struggle in me (and in everyone) that is firmly felt in this war between this images of God and of Adam. Thank God the struggle is there for this was the handle God grabbed to drag me to Himself. This is also where I meet people that I witness to and the reassurance that I have that the message I proclaim is relevant and vital. The active, ongoing, suppression of the truth is the tiring lot the unbeliever has an